PETA Protests "Leatherneck"

[Hotfoot]

From here

Camp Pendleton, CA - A peaceful protest outside the main gate of Camp Pendleton has erupted into violence today as Marines and activists continue to spar over military terminology.

The protestors, from People For The Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) have been holding a protest near the base for over a week against the use of the terms “Leatherneck” and “Wooly-Pully.”

PETA spokesman have deemed the terms offensive and say they “promote animal abuse.”

“These words that the Marines use are absolutely horrible,” said Jean Richards, a PETA activist. “We will not stand by and let these people continue to promote the killing of animals.”

Although no one understands how or why, the mild and peaceful protests soon escalated into chaos.

PFC Anthony Smith, a Marine Private currently attending the School of Infantry, reported that he was attacked while attempting to leave base. His t-shirt, which had “Leatherneck” written across the front, became a walking bullseye.

Luckily he was able to avoid the red paint they attempted to cover his neck with, saying that he employed “a little move, block, strike, and a little improvise, adapt, and overcome. Oh three hundred, Ooh-rah!”

But it wasn’t just the Marines being attacked.

PETA militants also have said that Marines were throwing hard boiled eggs and hot dog water at them. Some even claim to have been beaten with long pieces of meat byproduct.

PETA protesters turned to what they called their only defense. Using out-of-tune acoustic guitars, the crowd sang songs of animal triumph over human oppression.

Both civilian and military police worked together to break up the melee because no one could stand the horrible PETA music any longer.

Peace talks have started, with top Marine brass explaining that leather hasn’t been used around the neck of a Marines uniform since long before PETA existed. Former CENTCOM Commander General James Mattis also joined in the discussion, saying that the protestors “should just go fuck themselves.”

The term “Leatherneck” will continue in service due to an old grandfather clause that was produced faster than a a set of dummy orders. “Woolly-pully,” the term for a Marines’ dress sweater, is still under review. A few of the more popular choices of terms for the sweater include: “hot-n-cotton”, “stitchy-itchy”, and “polyester-molester.”

While the debate over the terms continues to rage, other groups have been inspired by the protestors. A group called “Irish Respect Association” has called for the Marine Corps to stop using the term “Irish pennants.”

They have sent in numerous photographs of their clothing, clearly showing no loose threads hanging as the term suggests.

Frankly, I'm surprised it took them this long to get around to this fight. Oh well...

[Josh]

I was going to make a comment about PETA being the Westboro Baptist of the protest scene these days, but this reads more like an Onion article.

[frigidmagi]

Duffel is the military version of the onion.

And Hotfoot? Don't complain man, I practically gave you a whole night.

[Hotfoot]

Damn it Frigid! Here I was hoping to at least get a spit-take from you!

CURSE YOUUUUU!!!

[frigidmagi]

Please I've know about the Duffel for awhile now. It's hilarious.

[Josh]

Yeah, PETA being attacked with meat products is one of those things that only happens in our fondest dreams.

[Dark Silver]

. . . I was wondering between this and the other article you posted Hotfoot...

I kept double checking to see if it WAS a Onion article or not....first I heard of duffleblog though