LibriumArcana.Games

Thirty-one years after Ronald Reagan was shot and nearly killed by a would-be assassin, an online auction house on the island of Guernsey (an autonomous British protectorate and controversial tax haven just off the northern coast of France) is making available to the highest bidder a glass vial it says once held the president’s blood.

Sixty-nine days after being sworn in, Reagan was attacked outside a Hilton Hotel in Washington by John Hinckley, Jr., a schizophrenic young man who later said he was trying to impress the actress Jodie Foster. The Secret Service rushed the president to George Washington University Hospital, where he underwent emergency surgery. Despite significant internal injuries and bleeding, Reagan recovered and was back at work at the White House only weeks later.

Reagan, of course, went on to become one of conservative America’s most beloved figures.
Now fans can put in a bid for a 5-inch long, plasma-stained glass tube and an accompanying medical form listing Reagan’s patient identification number, age, sex, and the name of the hospital’s chief cardiovascular and thoracic surgeon. None of the boxes on the form indicating which tests should be done are ticked off, but instructions are written onto the page requesting the sample’s “lead level” be examined.

The anonymous seller provided online auctioneers with a “letter of provenance,” claiming that his mother, then a technician at Bio Science Laboratories in nearby Columbia, Md., was given permission by a supervisor to take the vial home at the end of the week Reagan was shot. When his parents died, the seller writes, the vial was passed on to him.

“About 3 to 4 months ago,” he continues, “I contacted the Reagan National Library (sic) and spoke to the head of the library, a Federal Agent. I told him what I had, how I came across it and so on. We spoke for about 45 minutes. The reason that I contacted the Reagan National Library was to see if they would like to purchase it from me. He indicated that if I was interested in donating it he would see to it that he would take care of all of the arrangements.”
But he wanted to sell it, and after finding that the “National Archives was not interested in what I had, nor was the Secret Service, the FBI and other agencies,” he decided to put it on the block.

“Pres. Reagan when he was my Commander in Chief when I was in the ARMY from ’87-’91,” the mystery man writes, “and that I was a real fan of Reaganomics and felt that Pres. Reagan himself would rather see me sell it rather than donating it.”

The auction opened on Wednesday, May 9, with a bid of 1,500 British pounds sterling ($2,370.90). By late Monday, “Lot 160 – Ronald Reagan Blood Vial” had a new top offer of $9,910.36.

For all our interested readers: Bidding expires this Thursday, May 24, at 2 p.m. EDT. All submissions are considered official and cannot be altered. Payment, according to the PFC Auction website, is due within seven days of the date of your invoice.

rhoenix wrote:ONE STEP CLOSER TO A CLONE ARMY OF RONALD REAGANS! NOTHING CAN STOP THE CLONE REAGAN ARMY!

Batman wrote:The very existance of this thread means that bullets should work just dandy.

frigidmagi wrote:Grover Cleveland? Man, talk about useless.

Derek Thunder wrote:If by save us you mean enslave half the population to build a giant obelisk in the middle of California's Mojave Desert and fill the entire executive branch with cats, then yes.

Batman wrote:Who says he does? He just proposed turning the executive branch over to them for Valen's sake.
And frankly everybody who knows cats has problems with them. They're egotistic (has your dog ever sprawled on your keyboard because it wanted attention?), they bring mice into your home and actually expect to be lauded for it, they will completely arbitrarily decide they no longer like the brand of cat food you just stocked up on because until now, they loved it, they'll ignore the not inconsiderably expensive scratch post you got them because your sofa looks much more inviting, and occasionally some of them decide that drooling on your face is a perfectly ok way to wake you up in the morning.
We put up with all that because we love them. And, of course, because they have the power of the purr.