Look, I'll level. I've been treating this primary as a football season. I figured these candidates proved that the Republican party wasn't taking this seriously so why should I right? Just sit back and be entertained. And honestly I was. Between Perry whoops there goes my chance to be President and Bachmann, hey vaccines do cause harm my campaign is proof (credit to these jokes goes to the almighty John Stewart, the one without a green ring) I was entertained.US Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney has crowned a string of Super Tuesday victories with a wafer-thin win in the swing state of Ohio.
As expected, he cruised to victory in his home state of Massachusetts, as well as Idaho, Vermont and Virginia.
Mr Romney also won in Alaska, which Ron Paul was pinning his hopes on for his only win of the nomination campaign.
Rick Santorum won a hat-trick of contests, while Newt Gingrich took his home state of Georgia.
Mr Romney now leads the field with 415 delegates committed to backing him at the national Republican convention in August. A candidate needs 1,144 delegates to win the party's nomination and go on to challenge Barack Obama in November's election.
But Super Tuesday did not deliver a sufficiently convincing victory to end the race and convince Mr Romney's rivals to pull out.
'Ready to win'
After Tuesday's 10-state voting marathon, Mr Romney defended his position as the front-runner.
"I'm going to get this nomination," he told supporters in Boston.
He easily won Massachusetts, where he was governor, as well as liberal-leaning Vermont and Idaho, where his fellow Mormons make up a chunk of the electorate.
Mr Romney also won resoundingly in Virginia, where Mr Santorum and Mr Gingrich failed to qualify for the ballot.
But Mr Santorum, a former US senator from Pennsylvania, said his victories in Tennessee, Oklahoma and North Dakota proved he was the bona fide conservative alternative to Mr Romney.
"This was a big night tonight," Mr Santorum told supporters in Steubenville, Ohio. "We have won in the West, the Midwest and the South, and we're ready to win across this country."
After a cliffhanger count, Mr Romney narrowly edged out Mr Santorum in Ohio, the night's most coveted prize.
Ohio was important because no Republican nominee has taken the White House without winning the Midwestern bellwether state in the general election.
Of the 66 delegates on offer, Mr Romney took home 35 compared to Mr Santorum's 21, the Associated Press reports.
Mr Santorum began the race in Ohio with a big lead in the opinion polls, but Mr Romney's well-funded political machine overcame him in part through a heavy campaign of attack adverts.Mr Santorum has attracted the support of religious conservatives with his opposition to gay marriage and abortion.
But correspondents say his outspoken remarks on birth control and the role of religion may have turned off moderate-leaning voters.
Exit polls showed Ohio voters thought Mr Romney stood the best chance of beating Mr Obama, however, Mr Santorum appealed more to blue-collar voters.
Mr Gingrich, the former House speaker, did not achieve the sweep of Southern states he hoped for.
But he vowed to stay in the race after his Georgia win.
"There are lots of bunny rabbits to run through, I am the tortoise. I just take one step at a time," Mr Gingrich said.
With 96% of votes counted in Alaska, Mr Romney was winning with 33% of the vote, ahead of Mr Santorum with 29%. Texas Congressman Mr Paul - who had been hoping to make the state his only win of the campaign - was trailing with 22% while Mr Gingrich held 14%.
Overall, Mr Romney won at least 212 of Super Tuesday's delegates, taking his total to 415, while Mr Santorum added 84, taking his count to 176, AP reports.
The BBC's Paul Adams in Washington says the race is not over yet as the next crop of primaries and caucuses will not do Mr Romney any favours.
Kansas, Alabama, Mississippi and Hawaii hold their contests over the next 10 days.
Our correspondent says Mr Santorum and Mr Gingrich will be hoping to halt Mr Romney's momentum and keep their challenges alive.
The drawn-out nomination fight, which has been waged in large part through negative television adverts, may have taken its toll on the Republican Party.
A Washington Post/ABC News poll showed only 35% of Americans looked upon Mr Romney favourably, compared to 32% for Mr Paul, 23% for Mr Gingrich, and 32% for Mr Santorum.
Santorum, who has repeatedly proven himself a small petty man chasing small petty battles in the service of small petty causes... Isn't doing his job. I am not entertained. I am fucking annoyed! At this point I would prefer a chimp in a suit, that at least rates a chuckle.
This leads us to the title, which I am sure you are all wondering about. I'll explain by showing you the voting numbers in Ohio as an example.
Mitt Romney 456,513 37.9%
Rick Santorum 446,225 37.1%
Newt Gingrich 175,554 14.6%
Ron Paul 111,238 9.2%
Please Dear God No 13,873 1.2%*
Romney won Ohio by a razor's edge more or less. Okay you say, what does this have to do with the Grinch and the Byproduct?
10,500 would have swung this all another way, that's less then 10% of Gingrich of voters. This has played out in Alaska, Michigan and other states has well (not in the northeast, Romney is solidly in command there).
Now I'm making assumptions. I'll admit that. I am assuming that the vast majority of Gingrich voters would go for Santorum instead of Romney or Paul or stay home. I am assuming that they wouldn't jump to Romney en mass. I think those are solid assumptions but I could be wrong. So what I am getting at?
Gingirch is splitting the Not-Romney vote and this is costing the Byproduct money, votes and delegates. Wrecking any chance of Santorum becoming a Presidental candidate or assembling real power. Gingrich is staying in stubbornly and defiantly out of pure ego and spite. It is the perhaps one of the best services he's ever rendered to his nation as Santorum is a fucking disaster. I wouldn't care to much for a Romney Presidency (at least this Romney's Presidency) but it is entirely survivable and honestly wouldn't be to drastically different from Obama's Presidency. Santorum? No such luck.
Gingrich has threatened to stay in til the last bell. I say do it you lying, cheating crapsack. God wrings service from the most unlikely of creatures after all it seems.