Feedback for Charon

Charon · Post by **Charon** » Tue Aug 21, 2007 10:08 pm

Go ahead! I can take it!

*whimpers in a corner*

frigidmagi · Post by **frigidmagi** » Tue Aug 21, 2007 10:15 pm

Good story.

Charon · Post by **Charon** » Wed Oct 10, 2007 10:13 pm

This 'second chapter' I'm not so proud of. It just never seemed to come out quite like I wanted it too... Ah well.

rhoenix · Post by **rhoenix** » Wed Oct 10, 2007 10:20 pm

This is good stuff - if you plan on writing more, I look forward to reading it.

LadyTevar · Post by **LadyTevar** » Wed Oct 10, 2007 10:25 pm

I'm very glad that Crimson manages to stay on his Good Side... and that Overload is around often enough to make sure there IS a Good Side

rhoenix · Post by **rhoenix** » Tue Dec 04, 2007 4:26 pm

I liked your three short stories, and you're inspiring me to take a creative writing course myself.

I liked the flow of the stories, the cadence, the description, and the subtle fleshing-out of the characters. My one small complaint is a technical one, and one I can recognize because I do the same thing myself - string together too many parts of a sentence with commas, instead of making a new sentence.

Don't feel bad though - given your third short story, you already caught it and are working on it as a writer.

LadyTevar · Post by **LadyTevar** » Tue Dec 04, 2007 5:25 pm

Damn.

Thats all I can say hon.

The Silence and I · Post by **The Silence and I** » Tue Dec 04, 2007 7:01 pm

Regarding the first story (I have not read the rest yet):
I... don't think there are enough descriptions in there. I can't even tell if Matt's earlobes are rounded and dangle a little or connect to his head in a direct line. Sheesh.

Charon · Post by **Charon** » Wed Dec 05, 2007 9:13 am

rhoenix wrote:I liked your three short stories, and you're inspiring me to take a creative writing course myself.

I liked the flow of the stories, the cadence, the description, and the subtle fleshing-out of the characters. My one small complaint is a technical one, and one I can recognize because I do the same thing myself - string together too many parts of a sentence with commas, instead of making a new sentence.

Don't feel bad though - given your third short story, you already caught it and are working on it as a writer.

Actually that third one is the first that I wrote for the class. But yeah the long sentences is a minor issue I have had for awhile.

LadyTevar · Post by **LadyTevar** » Mon Feb 11, 2008 8:01 am

...................
Now I know why you say mad wizards are dangerous.

The Silence and I · Post by **The Silence and I** » Mon Feb 11, 2008 4:02 pm

^^^Don't underestimate the dragons either...^^^
<><><><><>
Awesome--I was hoping I'd get to see what happened there and then

frigidmagi · Post by **frigidmagi** » Mon Feb 11, 2008 4:48 pm

Damn dude.

rhoenix · Post by **rhoenix** » Mon Feb 11, 2008 6:12 pm

Wow - that's some serious high-level magic there. For a wizard to pick a fight with a dragon who's apparently that powerful, his flaw must have been pride - after all, he was forced to kill them both to win.

LadyTevar · Post by **LadyTevar** » Mon Feb 11, 2008 8:14 pm

But the wizard didn't pick a fight. He was just looking for his 'birdie'... that happened to fall on top of the dragon and shatter.

The dragon picked the fight, then. The wizard just finished it.

rhoenix · Post by **rhoenix** » Mon Feb 11, 2008 9:02 pm

LadyTevar wrote:But the wizard didn't pick a fight. He was just looking for his 'birdie'... that happened to fall on top of the dragon and shatter.

Yeah, that looked like a complete accident. Sure.

Charon · Post by **Charon** » Mon Feb 11, 2008 9:26 pm

rhoenix wrote:
LadyTevar wrote:But the wizard didn't pick a fight. He was just looking for his 'birdie'... that happened to fall on top of the dragon and shatter.
Yeah, that looked like a complete accident. Sure.

The world may never know.

*goes back to writing other stories, or lazing about, much more likely the second*

LadyTevar · Post by **LadyTevar** » Wed Mar 31, 2010 4:02 pm

Great Glitch story :)

LibriumArcana.Games

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