Provoked my ass, gather around kids it's magi story time.A teenage girl has been attacked by a sea lion while surfing behind a speedboat off Australia's west coast.
Ella Murphy, 13, suffered cuts to her throat, a broken jaw and lost three teeth when the mammal leapt out of the sea and mauled her.
She is in a stable condition in a Perth hospital after having surgery.
A marine scientist said attacks by sea lions were rare and it may have been trying to play with the girl. Sea lions can grow up to 300kg (660 pounds).
'Bizarre' attack
The sea lion jumped out of the water like a white pointer shark, family friend Chris Thomas, who was driving the speedboat at Lancelin, 125km (80 miles) north of Perth, said to Western Australia's Sunday Times newspaper.
"It actually lined her up. It jumped out of the water at her and hit her head-on ... it opened its mouth and grabbed her head. It latched on," he said.
The girl narrowly avoided a second attack, Mr Thomas said.
"It was going back for her, it was looking for her and it spotted her," he said. "I had this horrible feeling I was not going to make it back in time."
Sydney Aquarium marine scientist Grant Willis told AP news agency he had never heard of such an incident.
"To be out in the water and be attacked like this is just bizarre," he said.
Mr Willis said the protected species would only attack humans if provoked.
"It might have been like a rag doll toy ... it could have been ... play for them, just wanting to shake it around," he said.
Once upon time there was a band of brave marines doing small boat (read zodaic rubber boats) training in California. They landed on a beach and upon this beach was a cranky male sea lion. Now there were a good number of marines and they were armed. This would deter your standard cranky mammal. But not the sealion.
For a quater of an hour this cranky beast chased a double handful of marines up and down the beach baring fangs that were over an inch long. While the brave marines asked repeatly to be allowed to defend themselves against this clearly crazed predator... It was for nought. Their officers, who were not as brave, smart and handsome has the marines they led (look it's my story deal with it) refused to allow the marines the basic right of self defense fearing the wraith of the EPA and Greenpeace.
Moral of the story? Sea Lions are assholes and should be fed to Orca.
I hope the girl recovers speedly and that a orca or something devours the fucking furry menace who assualted her.
