Something just happened to Captain America (hey frigid!)

[Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman]

Although I doubt it'll be permanent.

[spoilers]

Captain America killed!

Marvel comic book hero cut down by sniper

BY ETHAN SACKS
DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITER

Comic book icon Captain America lies sprawled on courthouse steps after Marvel hero is gunned down by sniper. (Art by Steve Epting)
Cover of 1941 debut

Captain America is dead. The Marvel Entertainment superhero, created in 1941 as a patriotic adversary for the Nazis, is killed off in Captain America #25, which hits the stands today.

As Captain America emerges from a courthouse building, he is struck by a sniper's bullet in the shoulder and then hit again in the stomach, blood seeping out of his star-spangled costume.

His death is sure to ignite controversy in the comic book world - still reeling from Superman's death in 1993 and resurrection the following year - and even political pundits, who may see Captain America's demise as an allegory for the United States.

"It's a hell of a time for him to go. We really need him now," said co-creator Joe Simon, 93, after being informed of his brainchild's death.

Simon and artist Jack Kirby came up with the character in 1941 as an adversary for Adolf Hitler, who was more evil than any villain the pair could dream up. Since then, the patriotic hero has appeared in an estimated 210 million copies sold in 75 countries.

Not bad for an imaginary sickly kid from the lower East Side named Steve Rogers, who volunteered to be injected with Super Soldier serum during World War II.

Part of Captain America's allure was that he had no true superpowers; the serum made him an example of a human being at his utmost potential.

He could bench-press 1,100 pounds, run a mile in about a minute and outsmart any spy.

Series writer Ed Brubaker - who grew up reading Captain America comics while his father, a naval intelligence officer, was stationed on Guantanamo Bay, Cuba - said it wasn't easy to kill off the character. The 40-year-old, however, wanted to explore what the hero meant to the country in these polarized times.

"What I found is that all the really hard-core left-wing fans want Cap to be standing out on and giving speeches on the streetcorner against the Bush administration, and all the really right-wing [fans] all want him to be over in the streets of Baghdad, punching out Saddam," Brubaker said.

Comic book deaths, however, are rarely final. Marvel's archrival, DC Comics, provoked a media frenzy when it killed off Superman in 1993, only to reanimate its prize creation a year later.

Joe Quesada, 43, Marvel Entertainment's editor in chief, said he wouldn't rule out the shield-throwing champion's eventual return. But for now, the Captain's fans are in mourning.

"I was shocked. I was not expecting it," said Gerry Gladston, co-owner of Midtown Comics in Manhattan. "I'd rather they didn't kill him - but it's going to mean great sales."

[/spoilers]

[frigidmagi]

Ladies and Gentlemen, Before going any futher please understand it is assumed you've read the spoiler block. Also it is assumed you understand the board's policy on profanity and won't melt.
















Motherfucker! First they pull this lame "I give up!" BULLSHIT and now they're gonna have him shot by a fucking sniper? You cowfucking morons! You do not kill Captain America via a damn sniper what the fuck is your major malfunction retard!?! Why don't you just shit on the comic and the character and be done with it? Oh wait, that's what Civil War was, a prolonged diaherria licking fest complete with a circle jerk you usually don't see outside of a national convention. A character like Captain America deserves better, after depending on him for over 40 years the least marvel could do is give him a death worth rememberence. Not some senseless almost random bullshit.

I hope the brain eating aliens clearly inhabiting your sorry excuses for heads fucks their way out of your skulls. You pig cocksuckers.

[Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman]

Motherfucker! First they pull this lame "I give up!" BULLSHIT and now they're gonna have him shot by a fucking sniper? You cowfucking morons! You do not kill Captain America via a damn sniper what the fuck is your major malfunction retard!?! Why don't you just shit on the comic and the character and be done with it? Oh wait, that's what Civil War was, a prolonged diaherria licking fest complete with a circle jerk you usually don't see outside of a national convention. A character like Captain America deserves better, after depending on him for over 40 years the least marvel could do is give him a death worth rememberence. Not some senseless almost random bullshit.

But frigid, Captain America is not bulletproof, so death by sniper is still perfectly reasonable and believab.... *notices frigid is grabbing the high-caliber handgun*

Yeah, I know what you mean. At least DC still invented Doomsday to kill Superman. Captain America is probably the most iconic Avenger and the Marvel's equivalent of Superman when it goes to popularity, so hell, he actually deserves better.

[Cynical Cat]

Don't much care for Captain America (except for the Ultimates version), but this is a guy who went out the first time by hitching a hell ride on a Nazi nuke so it wouldn't hit America. Dramatically, he needs a fitting death. If they are really going to kill him.

[frigidmagi]

I'm not saying Cap is bulletproof or should be immortal. Hell anyone whose read Magi writes X Men knows I'm not opposed to killing Main Characters, but damn it should be a death that means something and catches the attention. If we wanted random sniperage we could just watch CNN now couldn't we?

[Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman]

Come to think of it, who's the most suitable Marvel character who 'deserves' the 'honor' of doing the job? (as oppossed to some unnamed, unknown sniper) Should it be a villain, an anti-hero, or a hero? Should Marvel use existing character like Bullseye or Punisher, or should Marvel create a new character solely for that purpose?

I'm actually thinking about Batman: Knightfall; Bane is not only strong and ruthless, but he's also a cunning and quite memorable character that it's still acceptable to see him crippling Batman. Now I don't want to see Cap being taken out by the likes of Thanos or Galactus --that would be too obvious, and won't be interesting at all. I imagine the character should be low power (to make an interesting battle) but formidable enough to do the job; someone like Bane who relies on physical training and brain instead of vast superpower.

If you're the Marvel writer assigned to do the job, who's your pick? Or will you choose to create a new character altogether?

[frigidmagi]

It it were me, him and Red Skull kill each other in a hand to hand combat that literally lasts days. Or he goes down facing a literal horde of villans.

[Dark Silver]

Captain America took a sinper shot in the shoulder, then got shot by SHIELD Agent 13 three times in the gut.

And apparently it was the Red Skull who decided to assassinate him like that.

Go figure.

According to The Initiative one shot, Cap ain't dead, he's tucked away on the Raft being worked on, so he won't die.

[frigidmagi]

*starts making a noose* Who wants to loan me a cricket bat?

[Stofsk]

This is Marvel. As soon as they fire Joe Quesada, or 'promote' him, not only will Captain America be back but so will Aunt May and the SHRA will be quietly buried.

This is the company which defined retroactive continuity and elevated it to an artform worthy of contempt. Remember Norman Osbourne? Gwen Stacy? Aunt May and MJ? Jean Grey? They all died, and brought back - Jean Grey died and came back, only to die again!

Stick to limited series. The ongoing series are always characterised by the editors who happen to run everything, and if the editors at the time are greasy cocksuckers (either they are greasy, or the cocks they are sucking are greasy, take your pick for most offensive imagery you didn't ask for) like Joe Quesada is, then things will be bad. Because right now they're doing hackneyed bullshit like this to try and shock the audience and drive up sales - five will buy you ten that that article KAN posted will make sales explode, as guys who don't buy comics at all will stampede into stores to buy these issues in the hopes of becoming speculators one day.

(This is it! The issue we killed Captain America!)

Of course, if this turns out to be a retcon then none of that will matter, and the speculator parasites will fucking look like fools.

[Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman]

This is the company which defined retroactive continuity and elevated it to an artform worthy of contempt. Remember Norman Osbourne? Gwen Stacy? Aunt May and MJ? Jean Grey? They all died, and brought back - Jean Grey died and came back, only to die again!

You know what, Marvel's continuity has always been fucked up anyway, and that's not mentioning the number of alternate futures and the mixing up of people from different timeline, including people who are not supposed to exist in mainstream continuity *cough*NateGrey*cough*. I believe what Marvel needs is some sort of "Crisis on Infinite Earths" solution.

Because right now they're doing hackneyed bullshit like this to try and shock the audience and drive up sales - five will buy you ten that that article KAN posted will make sales explode,

I haven't read the issue, but it seems to me that they don't put much effort to the whole thing. I mean, this is much different compared to, say, the Death of Superman. For instance, where's the motherfucking epic battle?

(either they are greasy, or the cocks they are sucking are greasy, take your pick for most offensive imagery you didn't ask for)

They're sucking the cock while hocking it with their loogie to grease it? Or am I getting tamer?

[Hotfoot]

http://community.livejournal.com/scans_ ... tml#cutid1

Faustus and Red Skull set it up, the sniper was a red herring, it was Cap's lady love that was hypnotized who was the one that killed him.

Still lame. Watch them play this off as social commentary like "America killed its ideals blah blah current events".

[Lord Iames Osari]

http://community.livejournal.com/scans_ ... tml#cutid1

Faustus and Red Skull set it up, the sniper was a red herring, it was Cap's lady love that was hypnotized who was the one that killed him.

Still lame. Watch them play this off as social commentary like "America killed its ideals blah blah current events".

That's actually the first thing I thought of when I heard about this. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if it was intended to be symbolic of that. And why can't comics comment on current issues? I mean, it's only been a practice since the beginning of the superhero genre, or does everyone need to be reminded of the propaganda that's been churned out over the years?

http://www.superdickery.com/propaganda/1.html

Edit: Particularly considering that Captain America was invented as a way of commenting on the political issue of the day...

[Hotfoot]

I'm not saying comics can't comment on current issues, I'm just saying that it's stupid, hamfisted, and downright unbecoming of the genre in this case.

It's like when Doctor Doom got up and said he'd never do the shit the Terrorists did on 9/11.

Yeah. How many times have you threatened to kill millions, Doom? Please.

Now this. God it's stupid. It's like having toddlers throw paste at the newspaper.

[Lord Iames Osari]

http://www.superdickery.com/images/prop ... agtwod.jpg

"Remember, kids! Stay away from drugs, and you can grow up to be a superhero just like me!"

"But Cap, didn't you get your powers from drugs?"

"... Shut up kid. God, I hate you all."

Stupid, hamfisted, and unbecoming of the genre?

There are so, so many more that are worse. Like this one:

http://www.superdickery.com/images/dick ... 000058.jpg

[Hotfoot]

I meant in this case.

And because something else was worse 30+ years ago, this is okay? That's a retarded argument.

Hey guys! Lynching darkies was okay back in the fifties! It's not so bad if I tie one up and piss on him while I rape his wife!

Just because something is better doesn't make it good.

[Lord Iames Osari]

That's not what I meant. >.<

Anyway, it might be stupid. I haven't read the actual comic, so I don't know. It might be hamfisted. Again, without reading it, I can't know. But unbecoming to the genre? I disagree.

[Hotfoot]

The genre is capable of so much more, we've seen that especially with the limited runs. That the flagship stuff all bites is a result of decades of destructive habits, most of which were fashioned by the CCA.

[Josh]

Hey Isarl, couldja rehost those pics in a Photobucket so as to not leech Superdickery's bandwidth?

Thanks.

As for the topic at hand... heh... funnybooks. What can I say? I gave up on the mainstream series over a decade ago when the X-titles started proliferating and they started pulling all the 'SUPERMEGAFUCKING CROSSOVER FIFTEEN DIFFERENT HOLOGRAPHIC COVERS FOR EACH TITLE' bullshit.