Paranoia: Happiness is just a laserblast away

[Caz]

"This is going to be so much fun, guys!" Colgate said with a bright smile. "I can't wait."

She toyed with her cyborg-arm a bit, curious as to exactly what each of the knobs and diodes functioned as.

That is, if the prop functioned at all.

[Josh]

He trailed along, looking about furtively, as if expecting to see something THAT WASN'T THERE.

[Dark Silver]

John grumbled as he walked on with Harry, Colgate and Jim. Of course, as the grizzled Vet, he took the rear position, letting Colgate needlessly blunder to the fore.

[B4UTRUST]

When Jim pushed the link it opened up a new window on his PDC, a form asking him to fill in additional information to verify that he was able to obtain the desired data on how to increase the range of his laser pistol. As he went through the form and clicked to the next page yet another form popped up. For every page he completed another form asking questions came up over and over again, never giving him the information on how to increase the range of his pistol.

As the autocar arrived in SDK sector the Troubleshooters were escorted to the food vat center.

As they walked along the hallways, the lights flickered on and off. Their footsteps echoed perceptibly around them, the hallways void of any noticble signs of life. Ahead of them at a junction they spotted a small shape dart across their field of view. Behind them they heard the soft squeek of wheels that needed to be oiled as another small shape darted across the corridor.

The lights then suddenly went out, casting them all into darkness momentarily till the Non-Emergency, Completely Expected Temporary Cease of Overhead Lighting Lights flared to life, bathing everything in a blood red hue.

At the end of the corridor a single BLACK door swung open and closed on loose hinges.

Through the door were the walkways that stretched above the massive food vats that gave the citizens of Alpha Complex their nurishment. The same Non-Emergency lights lit the chamber around them. Across the walkways a single RED citizen with a laser rifle stood, watching over a large group of several dozen INFRARED citizens.

As the troubleshooters stepped onto the walkway their PDCs all beeped at once, saying they had messages. Colgate's flashed up as:


John's was:


And Jim's was:


Hearing the beeps of the PDCs the RED citizen snapped around, laser rifle at the ready. Upon seeing the camera and crew of Shooters! he turned back around and trained the rifle back on the INFRAREDS.
"I'm glad to see you citzens!" the RED called out over his shoulder. "I've been stuck here for almost 20 minutes with all these INFRAREDS. I'm suppose to keep them from leaving till they're cleared of suspicion.

"Twenty-one minutes ago, a standard Series 3 scrubot entered the office of the RED-Clearance shift supervisor, one Mark-R-MAK-6. The door was closed. INFRARED staff reported hearing raised voices from the office,both human and bot, and then sounds of violence. The door appears to have been locked. The bot, so far as anyone knows, is still inside the office. There hasn't been any noise in there in the last seventeen minutes."

[Josh]

He clicked the link on his PDC before glancing at John. "You are the veteran here, friend! You should lead the way into this dangerous, possible commie plot! I'm sure your lengthy service and experience will allow you to resolve the situation and save the day!"

He remembered his character and frowned suddenly. "The way I wish I could save the day for my friend Len. If only I had another chance."

Glumly, he resumed clicking links and entering data on his PDC.

[Dark Silver]

John looked at his PDC at the message, but was interruped before he was able to click on the link to remove himself from the mailing list.

He listened to the RED Guard's explination, then nodded, the grizzeled vertarn he was, "Sounds just like when the Cyborg Killer attacked the Red Shift manager in SUK sector...."

He snapped out of his revery, and looked at Colgate, "Friend Cyborg Colgate! You shall take point, Jim, you shall be her backup, and I will bring up the rear! Let's do this for Alpha Complex!"

[Caz]

Colgate nodded authoritatively and took the fore, looking to Jim. She smiled toward the Red-clearance man and wiggled the mechanical fingers of her cyborg arm in a friendly wave.

"Don't worry, friend citizen," she said, "we have dealt with one of these malfunctioning bots just a few hours ago this day-cycle. Why, I'd be delighted to do it again to ensure your safety!"

She crept close to the office door and listened.

[Josh]

Jim followed behind Colgate, quite happily occupying the safest position in the group, the middle. He put away his PDC for the moment, and prepared to run from danger, whichever way it came.

It occurred to him that he really might want to arm himself, so he screwed the red barrel onto his laser gun and readied himself to fire a hasty burst of shots in the direction of Colgate if something started attacking her.

[Dark Silver]

John took his position in the rear, watching the other two disappear in the door, while he took up "guard position" at the door.

Like hell thier gonna get me this time.... he thought to himself, his grizzeled visage looking sternly inside. Of course, he readied his own laser pistol, screwing the red barrel into it, and preparing to heroically save his fellow troubleshooters should the worst occur.

And by save, he of course meant to make sure to empty his Laser pistol into thier bodies after the Scrubot was disabled.

[B4UTRUST]

As Colgate put her ear to the door, she could hear the sounds of a bot moving around inside, but not much else. The door was locked tight.

Harry-Y crept up slowly behind the troubleshooters and in a loud booming voice started narrating the show:
"Here we join our intrepid team of Troubleshooters who are even now as we speak on a very important mission for Friend Computer! Locked inside this RED clearance room is a Scrubot said to have murdered a RED clearance citizen! What will our valient team do in the face of such potential danger? Lets find out!"

The cameras zoomed in on the team then singled out Colgate.
"Troubleshooter, what are you planning to do?"

[Caz]

"I'm planning to open the door first," she said with a girlish giggle. "Then of course, we'll see if an offense has been committed and take appropriate action if it has!"

She glanced around.

"Can anyone here get this door open?"

[Josh]

Jim stepped aside so John could shoot the door lock like the veteran guy did last season. Then, on further consideration, he stepped much further aside as he remembered that John was NOT a real veteran.

[Dark Silver]

"Worry not friends!" John said all gruffly, as he took one of the "gernades" of B3 out of his pocket, and handed it to Jim, "Hold this please."

With that, he walked to Colgate, and whispered in her ear, "I saw a problem like this one last seasons last episode, I'll shoot the lock....then when the door opens, you usher Jim in to clear the way, and lay down some Laser pistol fire for cover...I'll be in right behind you both, with the third b3 can shaken up. that should handle the Scrubot!"

John, extraordinarily proud of his plan, stepped back, and leveled his Laser Pistol, waiting for Colgate to get into position.

[Caz]

Colgate nodded and moved back so that she was behind John with her pistol aimed slightly over his shoulder so she could accurately see what would be threatening their "explosives expert."

She nodded, then said: "I've also got a precautionary weapon in case the explosives don't work. Ready when you are!"

[B4UTRUST]

Harry-Y interjected again at this point, moving over to talk with the Shooters.
"Hey guys, we don't need to go unneccessarily damaging The Computer's property here. And don't you think that trying to talk the scrubot out would be more dramatic?"

[Caz]

Colgate looked to Harry-Y.

"Well that would be the friendly thing to do!" she said with an affable smile. She looked to the grizzled veteran.

"You've no doubt dealt with a situation similar to this in your many years of combat! Why don't you give it a try? You can do it, I know you can!"

[Dark Silver]

John stroked the scar on his face with the stub of his wrist, thoughtful looking, almost.

"I've not been a negotiater before, I was always front line combat! But Jim, if I remember his profile for the mission, is indeed skilled in negotiations! Jim! You shall speak to the Scrubot, if he becomes hostile, Colgate and I will be there to back you up!"

John was inordinatly pleased with this new plan, since it would serve two fold, A) he wouldn't be placed in direct danger and b) Jim would be the one talking to the Scurbot!

[Josh]

"Ah!" he said. "But friend Colgate is the expert here on matters hygenic, and can best relate to the concerns of a scrubbot. Effiency dictates that she be the one who makes the approach. Efficiency, friends, is what Len always aspired to."

He cast his eyes down to the floor.

"He would've wanted to do it himself. Would you do it in his honor, friend Colgate?"

[Caz]

Colgate walked over to Jim and put her hand on his shoulder.

"Certainly, friend," she said, "anything to make you feel better."

She aproached the door, rapped on it with the knuckles of her metal arm.

"Hellooooo in there! This is Hygiene Officer Colgate-R-NAF-01! I'd like to speak with whomever might be insiiiiide!" she said in a cheery voice with an obnoxious laugh.

She kept the metallic appendage ready, just in case.

[B4UTRUST]

A movement was heard inside, wheels rolling across smooth floor.
"Y-yes?" a tinny small voice squeaked from behind the door.
"I-I mean yes? What do you want?" came an obviously badly impersonated human voice, deep and baritone.
"I'm very busy right now, so maybe you should go away or something."

[Caz]

"Is that a way to speak to a commanding officer?" Colgate said in a motherly, scolding tone. "And are you so busy that you would refuse an important assignment from Friend Computer? We require your help!"

She leaned back, moving away from the door in case the bot decided to open it.

"There is a very badly-groomed Infrared-class citizen out here and you're in a position to help us clean him up!"

[Josh]

Jim hastily stepped aside, in case some commie-sabotaged poor color discrimination on the bot's part led it to figure he was the one that Colgate referred to.

[B4UTRUST]

"I-I'm sure that you as a hygiene officer are more then capable of handing a disheveled infrared by yourself. And Friend Computer has already assigned me much more important work...in here. With...the door locked."

The sound of wheels moving once more and the faint whir of cleaning instruments rapidly working came through the door.

[Caz]

"Unfortunately, my shears and brush are being repaired right now, friend," she said, "and it would please both me and Friend Computer if you would assist me on this important mission!"

[B4UTRUST]

"That is indeed most regretable citizen. But, indeed my work must take precedence in this instance. I really must insist you all leave me to it now."