Paranoia: Happiness is just a laserblast away

[B4UTRUST]

Harry-Y lead the team to the set of Shooters. Upon arriving on set Harry-Y introduces them to the two other members of the film crew; Trevor-R-HNL-2, the cameraman and Brian-R-PFD-5, the FX-coordinator.

"Now I'm sure you're all ready to get back into the field," Harry-Y began.
"But before we can get to that you must get your Personal Story Augmentation Templates, or PSATs.

"You see, todaycycles's vid audience needs more then just snappy dialogue and visual effects. They want rich, complex characters with compelling stories. A little drama, a little flair, a little moral lesson for all of us - those are the things that make the difference between our hit show and just another show wasting the budget. Unfortunatly most of you average citizens have the personality of a Vita-Yum bar so we came up with some add-on personalities guaranteed to make even the most bland citizen scintilating and expressive. Each of the parts will get some props to go with them, to help add to the illusion. And I know what you're all thinking; Are the props real? Well, lets put it this way, you should treat them as if they are.

"Colgate-R, we've selected you for what we refer to as our 'Man and Machine' PSAT. We're trying to put forward a more positive cyborg role-model. No more grim robot assassins from the future! You're upbeat... funny, even. A wacky, untheatening cyborg sidekick! For this we've got lots of prosthetics and makeup for you to wear for the full effects, completely realistic!

"John-R, you've been selected for the 'Grizzled vet.' Your situation is this; Your experiances in the war against Beta Complex have left you scarred. Grim-n-gritty, you know/What you saw in the war makes your Troubleshooter duties seem like a vacation in comparison! For this one of your limbs will be 'missing.' Oh, hmmm wait. Looks like you actually are missing one. Even better! Adds to the realism. Now we want you to have 'random' war flashbacks in addition to the scarring makeup we're going to apply to you.

"And finally Jim-R, you're 'Haunted!' Your best friend from the Junior Citizens creche was killed in a tragic vat-drowning accident and you believe it was your fault. The guilt eats at you constantly. Heavy drama at its best! We're going to occassionally cue you and then you need to pretent to 'see' the ghost of your dead friend haunting you. Brian-R, our FX guy, wrote up some 'restless shade' multicorder software and they'll compisite it into the rest of the footage in editing so don't worry about it.

"Now before we head out into the Complex for you to find trouble and shoot it, any questions?"

[Josh]

"Do we get an apple?" Jim asked, hoping that he wasn't pushing his luck.

[Dark Silver]

"Yes" JOhn spoke up, "I recall this one time in OUTSIDE Sector, the dust was so thick on my standard issue ocular protectors, that I had to have windshield wipers...."

[Caz]

Colgate smiled cheerfully.

"If Friend Computer thinks I'd make a good cyborg, I can do the job!" she said with a grin.

As far as Colgate was concerned, the day was going excellently: she was finished with one job and already on to another, and she hadn't even had to fire her laserpistol yet?

[B4UTRUST]

"Excellent! You guys are naturals!" Harry-Y stated, oozing Chutzpah.

"Now if you'll all just follow me to the props room we can begin. We have our makeup artists already waiting for you and then we'll transform you all into the brand new Citizens of Shooters!"

Harry-Y turned smartly on his foot and walked to a door and opened it, revealing a dark prop closet filled with Syth-cardboard boxes containing all the props for the troubleshooters parts. Also, you notice, is a single RED clearance female with a folding table that has a myrid array of cosmetic assortments on it.
"Now if you would all just file into the room together we can get this over with and on with your most assuredly important mission!"

[Caz]

Colgate followed Harry into the room with more than a bit of curiosity, although it could be seen as being tentative. The darkness of the prop closet was nothing compared to that of the Transbot they'd taken on their way to SPD-sector, however, so there didn't appear to be a bout of characteristic screaming from the men behind her.

Yet.

Curiously, she asked Harry, "How can mere cosmetics make an orgnaic citizen resemble a cyborg?"

[Josh]

He watched, curious himself, but didn't interject. Undoubtedly, all would be well, and they were going to be big stars.

He glanced away from them, looking at the ceiling with a satisfied smile, as he dreamed of rolling around in a room full of apples.

[Dark Silver]

John moved away from Colgate, not even concerned about the woman's transformation from human to cyborg. He was only concerned with getting into his part.

"So, what shall I have to do?"

[B4UTRUST]

As the troubleshooters entered the prop room the door shut, bathing them once more in complete darkness. They felt the brush of the makeup woman as she deftly applied their required makeup.

John recieved various scars across his face and arms, while Colgate was fitted with about 20 extra pounds of plastic, metal and electronics across her entire body, transforming her from human to cyborg. By the time they were done they were prefectly in character.

[Josh]

"Why?" he moaned. "Why did Len have to die?" He buried his head in his hands. "I never should have shouted my happiness in his ear..."

[Caz]

Colgate flexed her new (albeit heavier) faux cyborg arm and stared at it, watching the metallic texture glitter appealingly in the soft light.

"Well I'll be," she siad, "that looks real."

[Dark Silver]

John suddenly looked more grizzled after the make up, with a tasteful scar over the right half of his face.

"Excellent!"

[Caz]

"Indeed, friends, we all look the part!" Colgate chirped with an excited hop. Already in character, she smiled cheerfully.

"I wonder what sort of important mission they're going to give us," she said with a twinkle in her eyes.

[Josh]

"I live only to serve Friend Computer and atone for the death of my friend Len..." he said with a solemn smile.

[Dark Silver]

"Oh come off it, your wouldn't last one minute on the front. Why I remember the Battle of BLU sector...." he began to ramble on, some old war story..

[B4UTRUST]

As the intrepid troubleshooters emerged from their makeup and wardrobe makeover, Harry-Y smoothly walked over to them, examining the ever-present clipboard in his hand. He flipped over a few pages, looked up at the troubleshooters and then back down at his board, flipping more pages.

"Hmmm. Lets see here...mission, mission, mission...hmmm. Oh here it is! You guys are... lets see here... looking for missing fissionable materials? Well I guess we can work with that..."

[Josh]

"That's what Len would want," he said. "I live to honor his memory and serve Friend Computer."

[Dark Silver]

John's hand came up, hard and fast, behind Jim's head, smacking the skull.


"Would you quit your bellyaching a'eady it's worse than the whining I had to put up with back in HEL Sector patrolling for Mutants....."

[B4UTRUST]

Harry-Y paced back and forth, looking at his clipboard and hmming to himself, throwing off questions at random to establish where the Troubleshooters were in their mission.
"Have you been to the reactor yet?"

He glanced up at then and without waiting for an answer fired off another question.
"Do you have the contact information for their decomissioning overseer?"

John's PDC beeped signaling him he had an incoming message as Harry-Y asked more questions.


A moment later an INFRARED citizen burst through the door. Harry-Y glanced up and walked to him, leaning down to listen to the INFRARED. The Troubleshooters could just barely hear them talking:
"Do we have a forensically trained Troubleshooter team ready for a shoot?"

Harry-Y shot a glance over his shoulder towards the Troubleshooters, raising an eyebrow speculatively before turning back to the INFRARED.
"I'm not sure. Why?"
"Some scrubot killed a vat shift supervisor over in SDK Sector and we can get first crack at the crime scene if we move fast."

A broad grin appeared on Harry-Y's face, his mind turning the information over and over for ways to make this episode even better then originally planned. Oh how Friend Computer must surely look down favorably on him for allowing this most assuredly completely preplanned accident befall a individual who was most likely a Commie. Friend Computer was truely benevolent. Harry-Y straighted up and turned towards the Troubleshooters, grin firmly in place.

[Josh]

Jim blinked, confused. Hadn't they already fixed the scrubot problem? There was another one?

Oh well, brave John would take care of this one much like he'd taken care of the last one. He smiled and waited to be dispatched.

[Dark Silver]

John checked his PDC, and blinked at the spammy message.

"Indeed, someone sent me a advert."

John clicked on the removal link, then pocketed his PDC, and looked at Colgate and Jim, "A'ight, let's go off and bag us a Scubot.

[Josh]

"For Len and Friend Computer," he agreed, jamming his hands in his pockets and following brave John.

[Caz]

Colgate followed alongside Jim, not wanting to bring up the rear, and wondered as to what they were going toward. After all, a Scrubot enthusiastically scrubbing a citizen into a bit of a rash and misbehaving a bit was one thing... but she hadn't thought they actually had the ability to kill someone.

Then again, maybe he'd brought it upon himself.

[B4UTRUST]

Harry-Y clapped his hands together and wrung them briskly, grinning ever the more.
"So Troubleshooters, it looks like we have a new assignment for you. It's guarenteed to be loads of fun and definatly good for the show. So follow me and we'll be heading to SDK Sector."

Harry-Y turned and walked off, leaving the Troubleshooters to follow in his wake. The two assistants gathered their gear and started carrying it with them. Harry-y reached down to his PDC and tapped a few buttons as he walked out the door.

A moment after he walked out a autocar pulled up, bearing the Shooters logo emblazened across its doors. The trunk opened and the two assistants loaded their gear into the back as Harry-Y crawled into the front passenger seat, leaving the back for the Troubleshooters and assistants.

As John stepped out of the building his PDC beeped a few more times, signalling new messages had arrived. A quick glance down at the clock showed that the team only had 2 hours and 50 minutes remaining before the mission time ran out.

The first message popped up on John's screen, followed by a beeping signaling more had arrived.


A second later another message popped up as well:


Jim's PDC likewise began to beep, displaying:


As soon as the Troubleshooters got into the autocar and got themselves seated the doors slammed shut and the autocar smoothly, if recklessly quickly accelerated away towards their destination.

[Josh]

Oooooh.

He clicked the link to add more range to his laser. After all, Friend Computer wouldn't let false information be transmitted to his PDC.