Author Feedback: Steve

[LadyTevar]

BAD TIMELORD!
You should not save the AirBenders, or at least not try to save ALL of them. Maybe take a few families to safety, but....

[frigidmagi]

If you're talking grabbing people who were suppose to die and bringing them forward then this could work. However you will cause a fuckton of problems as old air bender culture and new air bender culture collide. If you mean to somehow fight all the armies of the fire nation at the height of their power to a stand still.... Dude you ain't a god. Plus you're not just modifying the timeline, you're smashing it and that sir is dangerous.

It's not even your timeline to smash is it?

[Steve]

Actually, the plan is to save some children and caretakers. I almost used the word "some" but I decided that would come off a bit weak. The opening of the chapter will reveal the actual planned scope.

[LadyTevar]

That was bloody stupid. It's going to change a lot in RepublicCity's future, and I'm betting in the Convergence.

Katherine isn't going to wait for much longer, she needs to get that ride soon. Nice touch with Frozen, however.

[Steve]

I don't think it'll change as much as you think. The Air Nomads who were rescued are non-combatants, mostly young people and children. It's very easy to justify their inability to play a role in stopping Unalaq and Vaatu.

Katherine will get her ride soon enough, in Series 2. Mixing Frozen in was for fun... and then I realized how well it worked in the matter of influencing Katherine too.

Anyway... surely you've seen the opening of Episode 8? What do you think?

[LadyTevar]

BAD TIMELORD!!!
He's taking too many steps over the damn line. This is not a good Option.

[Steve]

This isn't a fixed point so I'm not sure what's wrong ? The issue with the Air Nomads, yes, but this is an open-ended point of time.

[LadyTevar]

No, I'm talking overall. He's tripping on the TimeLord Victorius already.

[Steve]

I think I understand now. Because he's interfering directly in such a major event to create a new outcome?

I wouldn't compare it to "Waters of Mars" because the sheer open-endedness of the event means it's not interfering in the timeline but participating in its events.

Granted, this will give him a taste for becoming more ambitious, more grand, in what he chooses to involve himself in, which will have an effect upon him. Hubris indeed.

Anyway, gotta run for work, hope to have another update out tomorrow.

[LadyTevar]

I'll give him props for understanding he needs to kill himself to do it

[LadyTevar]

RINCEWIND?? And you have him in RoundWorld 4Xs

[Steve]

I was inspired by this:
http://www.snowgumfilms.com/runrincewindrun/watch/

[frigidmagi]

You never did get back to me on episode 6.

[Steve]

I went with rewrite, I have to tran-scribe more of the material I wrote at work into the documents, a project for this weekend.

[frigidmagi]

Jarod's part is the weakest part of the story but it holds up okay. Zack's interactions with his father were very well done and felt very real. The set up for episode 7 was well done as well. I think the story worked fairly well and was a good read, good work here Steve.

[Steve]

Comment redacted by order of *CLASSIFIED*[

[LadyTevar]

The Cunning Man.

And here we don't have a handy wheat field to burn him in.

[LadyTevar]

Welcome to Anhk-Morpork. Nice touch, giving him Rincewind's narrative.

[LadyTevar]

Tenth Egg Street?
Isn't that a certain little old man you know never to underestimate

[Steve]

I don't think so.

Rather it's something else, but I'm a bit sleep deprived tonight so I probably won't do much writing. I would like to wrap this story up soon though, keep it going at a good flow.

[LadyTevar]

The Little Match Girl! Nice touch! :)

[LadyTevar]

of COURSE it's linked to Rincewind. It's always his fault somehow.

[Steve]

Always his luck too.

I admit I almost didn't go through with having Andy Shank get possessed by the Cunning Man, but, well... poison goes where poison's welcome, and I suspect after the events of Academicals he's full of poison. Raw, seething hate for getting beaten and humiliated and having his face sliced up.

I'm not sure I'll do any stories of the SI Doctor on those alluded-to adventures with Esk and possibly Sweeper, not unless I have a good idea for it. It just struck me that in the fullness of the timeline he will run into and work with Eskarina and Sweeper and quite probably, at some point, Tiffany Aching (when she's older). But not every adventure he has will be used in this series.

Now I'm pondering what other settings to use in Series 2 besides the ones I've planned/considered and the ones I'm going back to for various purposes. I've toyed with nBSG, but I need it to be late enough to, well, fit with his growing slide into Time Lord Triumphant.

[LadyTevar]

The DOCTOR doesn't use guns. UNIT and a few of his Companions have

[LadyTevar]

another fantastic chapter :)