Mage: The Ascension

[Comrade Tortoise]

I have taken the liberty of rewriting a certain song...

As I walk 'round the nodes where I harvest my Tass
I come upon a demon and feel a need to kick its ass
and that's just perfect for a hermetic like me,
you know I shun crazy things like demonology

At four thirty in the mornin im readin books
readin obscure latin texts while Nestor cooks
I've been reading and chanting so long that
even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone
I'm a man of the magic into conjuration,
got a halberd in my hand a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my spells, and you finish thine
then tonight we're gonna party like its 799

Been spendin most our lives in a crazy mage's paradise
Been in Limbo once or twice, livin' in a mage's paradise
Its hard work and paradox, livin' in a mage's paradise
We sell Tass at discount price, livin' in a mage's paradise

Nephandius kicked me in the ass last week.
I just smiled at him, and I blew him up shit creek.
He swore he'd kill me, but I just wished him well,
'Cuz I'll be laughing my ass off, when I can 'port him to Hell.

I never wear buttons but I got a pointy hat
and my homies agree, I really look good in robes FOOL
When you come to visit you'll be scared to tears
We haven't excorcized the basement in 300 years
But we aint really sane, so please dont point and stare
we're just paradoxically impaired.

There's no physics, place, theology
not one true reality
Like lazy postmodernists, we're as lunatic as can be

We've been spendin most our lives livin' in a mage's paradise
The Way Dude 'll put your ass on ice, livin in a mage's paradise
Padadox don't play nice, livin in a mage's paradise

Gaitin' to the Umbra
Callin' G'Dad Thunder
Killed a God on Monday
Soon we'll slay another

Think that you're immortal
Think you've got no heart?
Well I know I'm a million times more deadly than thou art
I'm the scary guy the little magelings wanna be like
on their knees day and night learning words in Enochian
Don't open veins, and don't be whiny,
or else my vampire I might have to get Hellenic on your hiney

We've been spendin' most our lives livin' in a mage's paradise
We're all crazy arcane knights livin' in a mage's paradise
Oh look schrödinger's knives, livin' in a mage's paradise
Marauders dont play nice, livin' in mage's paradise

*Chants* Crea fulmino et occidere inimicos
*!ZAP!*

[Cynical Cat]

I am a God. Who else could manage to have Garvin to meet someone who wanted to make him a slave and they would leave as bros?

[frigidmagi]

Two things.

1: On Barsoom trying to enslave someone is practically how they say hello. I don't have time to teach them different... Yet.

2. Tharks is Tharks.

All I'm gonna say on the subject.

[LadyTevar]

*dies laughing* Great song

[General Havoc]

Friend of mine is having his 35th birthday on Monday evening. I shall be thus indisposed.

[Hotfoot]

Thunderstorm in the area, might disrupt the signal.

[frigidmagi]

Ben wishes me to remind everyone he can't make it either. He says hi.

[Cynical Cat]

Mage is on hiatus for an indefinite period of time.

Havoc, I apologize. I was far too harsh.

[General Havoc]

Mage is on hiatus for an indefinite period of time.

Havoc, I apologize. I was far too harsh.

I think I understand, Cyncat. Thank you for saying as much.

When you have the chance, I'd really like to talk, if just for a bit. I should be on Skype for most of the evening (my connection permitting as usual).