Theme song for masturbation?

Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman · Thu Jun 01, 2006 1:36 am

So what is the most suitable theme song for jerking off? What is your pick?

I remember reading somewhere about Eye of Tiger being the most favorite, especially the intro part. However, I personally prefer ska or punk-ska songs for *fast* and *furious* whacking. You know, titles like Come On Eileen by Save Ferris, Take On Me by Reel Big Fish (originally performed by A-Ha), or Sophia by Rasmus. Based on the same reason, typical punk/alternative songs can also be good choices. Examples are Basket Case by Green Day, Song #2 by Blur, or I'm Popeye The Sailor Man by Face to Face.

However, for a slower, less furious jerkoff, I would reccommend Safety Dance by Men Without Hats; its rhytm and melody overall gives a sufficiently repetitive atmosphere for a stable whacking purpose.

So what's your picks?

Rukia · Post by **Rukia** » Thu Jun 01, 2006 10:39 am

O.o

*leaves very quickly*

Narsil · Post by **Narsil** » Thu Jun 01, 2006 11:16 am

*breaks out into song*

There are Jews in the world.
There are Buddhists.
There are Hindus and Mormons, and then
There are those that follow Mohammed, but
I've never been one of them.

I'm a Roman Catholic,
And have been since before I was born,
And the one thing they say about Catholics is:
They'll take you as soon as you're warm.

You don't have to be a six-footer.
You don't have to have a great brain.
You don't have to have any clothes on. You're
A Catholic the moment Dad came,

Because

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

Let the heathen spill theirs
On the dusty ground.
God shall make them pay for
Each sperm that can't be found.

Every sperm is wanted.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

Hindu, Taoist, Mormon,
Spill theirs just anywhere,
But God loves those who treat their
Semen with more care.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood!

Every sperm is useful.
Every sperm is fine.
God needs everybody's.
Mine!
And mine!
And mine!

Let the Pagan spill theirs
O'er mountain, hill, and plain.
God shall strike them down for
Each sperm that's spilt in vain.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite iraaaaaate!

Einhander Sn0m4n · Post by **Einhander Sn0m4n** » Thu Jun 01, 2006 8:13 pm

I don't jack off to music, although Sabre Dance by Khachaturian would be hilarious for a jackoff vid soundtrack, especially a 'who can cum first' circlejerk.

LadyTevar · Post by **LadyTevar** » Thu Jun 01, 2006 9:04 pm

I remember an old early 80s song "Stroke It"

Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman · Sun Jun 04, 2006 2:34 am

Wait wait wait....

Anyone remember an old song by Kylie Minogue title Locomotion?

Suddenly I just got an inspiration... See, with the right modification to the lyrics, it could be a great song for jerkoff purpose.

Kylie Minogue - Masturbation
(sung according to the tunes of 'Locomotion')

Everybody's doin' self-stimulation
(C'mon baby do the masturbation)
I know you'll get to like it
If you give it a wank now
(C'mon baby do the masturbation)
My little pervert brother can do it with grease
It's easier than learning your a b c's
So cum on, cum on,
Do the masturbation with me

You gotta swing your hand now
Cum on baby, jerk forth, hmmm jerk back
Oh well I think you got the knack

Now that you can do it
Let's make a cum now
(C'mon baby do the masturbation)
Jerk-a jerk-a motion like a railway train now
(C'mon baby do the masturbation)
Grab it nice and easy now don't lose control
A little bit of whacking and a lot of porn
So cum on, cum on,
Do the masturbation with me
You gotta swing your hand now
cum on, cum on,
Do the masturbation with me
Yeah

Jerkajerk Jerkajerk Jerkajerka masturbation
Jerkajerk Jerkajerk Jerkajerka masturbation
Jerkajerk Jerkajerk Jerkajerka masturbation

Squirt around the floor in a masturbation
(C'mon baby do the masturbation)
Do it holding hands if you got the lotion
(C'mon baby do the masturbation)
There's never been a wank that's so easy to do
It even makes you happy
When you're feeling blue
So cum on cum on do the masturbation with me
You gotta swing your hand now

cum on, cum on,
Do the masturbation with me
Yeah
cum on, cum on,
Do the masturbation with me
You gotta swing your hand now

[repeat & fade]

Lindar · Post by **Lindar** » Mon Jun 12, 2006 4:45 pm

*palm meets forehead squeals of laughter* THis is why i love you guys.

ok here's my addition to the topic.

BASS it's gotta have Bass (hrmmm i wonder if am spelling that right) And Drums, that's cool sQuee.

vampykat · Post by **vampykat** » Mon Jun 12, 2006 5:32 pm

Touch Myself, The Divinals

She-Bop, Cyndi Lauper

Body Language, Queen

Those are my additions.

Post by **B4UTRUST** » Mon Jun 12, 2006 6:33 pm

NIN - Closer
Just about anything by Lords of Acid

Batman · Post by **Batman** » Mon Jun 12, 2006 6:38 pm

Y'know I've never thought about Cyndi Lauper's 'she Bop' that way but it does fit the bill...

Shark Bait · Post by **Shark Bait** » Mon Jun 12, 2006 6:50 pm

I'm tempted to say something real disturbing like
Union Underground 'turn me on mr dead man"
or
Bad religion "i love my computer"
or
Rob Zombie "House of 1000 corpses"

Lindar · Post by **Lindar** » Mon Jun 12, 2006 7:04 pm

Shark Bait wrote:I'm tempted to say something real disturbing like
Union Underground 'turn me on mr dead man"
or
Bad religion "i love my computer"
or
Rob Zombie "House of 1000 corpses"

you sound like the "living dead girl" type *drools on Shark Bait*

Shark Bait · Post by **Shark Bait** » Mon Jun 12, 2006 7:16 pm

Lindar wrote: you sound like the "living dead girl" type *drools on Shark Bait*

haha funny you should mention that...

Lindar · Post by **Lindar** » Mon Jun 12, 2006 8:49 pm

Shark Bait wrote:
Lindar wrote: you sound like the "living dead girl" type *drools on Shark Bait*
haha funny you should mention that...

*blushes from head to toe* You're not joking me right? 'Cause i mean...

*giggle* that one's fun*hides*

Umbras · Post by **Umbras** » Mon Jun 12, 2006 8:52 pm

Oh c'mon we all know "Relax" by Frankie goes to Hollywood is the obvious choice.

Shark Bait · Post by **Shark Bait** » Mon Jun 12, 2006 8:57 pm

Lindar wrote:
Shark Bait wrote:
Lindar wrote: you sound like the "living dead girl" type *drools on Shark Bait*
haha funny you should mention that...
*blushes from head to toe* You're not joking me right? 'Cause i mean...

*giggle* that one's fun*hides*

there was once a playlist that my girlfriend and I made... there is more but i probably shouldent put that up in the public sections of the board.

Lindar · Post by **Lindar** » Mon Jun 12, 2006 9:08 pm

Shark Bait wrote:
there was once a playlist that my girlfriend and I made... there is more but i probably shouldent put that up in the public sections of the board.

*sQueeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeak, blush giggle* Oh c'mon amna gonna tell anybody.....*wink*

Shark Bait · Post by **Shark Bait** » Mon Jun 12, 2006 9:43 pm

Lindar wrote:
Shark Bait wrote:
there was once a playlist that my girlfriend and I made... there is more but i probably shouldent put that up in the public sections of the board.
*sQueeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeak, blush giggle* Oh c'mon amna gonna tell anybody.....*wink*

its not who you would tell but given the number of people who read this board i fear that it might get back to a few people who i really dont want knowing such details.

Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman · Tue Jun 13, 2006 1:12 am

Anyway, anyone remember the 80s song titled 99 Red Balloons by Nena?

Yep, that too, is a good song for jerk off; especially if one wants to alternate between fast whacking and slow whacking.

Stofsk · Post by **Stofsk** » Tue Jun 13, 2006 5:20 am

What about movies to go with masturbation?

Wait. That's porn. Silly me.

Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman · Tue Jun 13, 2006 10:27 am

Stofsk wrote:What about movies to go with masturbation?

Wait. That's porn. Silly me.

Not necessarily the case. Sometimes, cartoons like Tiny Toons or Happy Tree Friends can work as well. Either those, or Ripley's Believe It Or Not.

Shark Bait · Post by **Shark Bait** » Tue Jun 13, 2006 10:34 am

No, dawn of the dead or any other zombie movie. Also house of 1000 corpses and Devil's rejects

Lindar · Post by **Lindar** » Wed Jun 14, 2006 7:53 pm

Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman wrote:Anyway, anyone remember the 80s song titled 99 Red Balloons by Nena?

Yep, that too, is a good song for jerk off; especially if one wants to alternate between fast whacking and slow whacking.

*wrinkles nose and falls over ;laughing* Heck... now am going to envision people doing that when i sing it at Karaoke... thanks a TON KAN

Something Awesome · Post by **Something Awesome** » Wed Jun 14, 2006 9:26 pm

Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman wrote:Not necessarily the case. Sometimes, cartoons like Tiny Toons or Happy Tree Friends can work as well. Either those, or Ripley's Believe It Or Not.

...Tiny Toons? I always liked the show, at least way back when, but never that much. Why would you suggest -- Oh, I remember. "Sick, Twisted Fuck." It all makes sense now.

Einhander Sn0m4n · Post by **Einhander Sn0m4n** » Thu Jun 15, 2006 1:43 am

Umbras wrote:Oh c'mon we all know "Relax" by Frankie goes to Hollywood is the obvious choice.

No that's the theme song for receiving gay anal sex!

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