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#1 Quotes of the day from my computer
Posted: Wed May 10, 2006 3:21 pm
by Destructionator XV
Linux and BSD both usually come with a hilarious program called
fortune which canm be set to give you a hilarious tidbit whenever you log in. Here are a few I have gotten recently:
There are no physicists in the hottest parts of hell, because the existence
of a "hottest part" implies a temperature difference, and any marginally
competent physicist would immediately use this to run a heat engine and make
some other part of hell comfortably cool. This is obviously impossible.
-- Richard Davisson
The New Testament offers the basis for modern computer coding theory,
in the form of an affirmation of the binary number system.
But let your communication be Yea, yea; nay, nay: for
whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil.
-- Matthew 5:37
Ocean, n.:
A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for
man -- who has no gills.
LET Jesus be YOUR anchor!
So when Satan rocks your boat, THROW Jesus overboard!
Eleven reasons a cucumber is better than a man:
(1) Cucumbers can stay up all night, and you won't have to
sleep in the wet spot.
(2) Cucumbers don't play the guitar and try to find
themselves.
(3) You won't find out later that your cucumber (a) is
married, (b) is on penicillin, (c) likes you -- but loves
your brother!
(4) A cucumber won't care what time of the month it is.
(5) A cucumber never wants to get it on when your nails are
wet.
(6) Cucumbers don't say "Let's keep trying until we have a
boy".
(7) Cucumbers won't tell you size doesn't count.
(8) A cucumber won't leave you for a cheerleader or an ex-nun.
(9) Cucumbers don't fall asleep on your chest or drool on the
pillow.
(10) Cucumbers don't care if you make more money than they do.
(11) With a cucumber, the toilet seat is always the way you
left it.
What is the difficulty with writing a PDP-8 program to emulate Jerry
Ford?
Figuring out what to do with the other 3K.
There was a young lady named Clair
Who possessed a magnificent pair;
At least so I thought
Till I saw one get caught
On a thorn, and begin losing air.
#2
Posted: Wed May 10, 2006 3:31 pm
by Destructionator XV
Sex is like a bridge game -- If you have a good hand no partner is
needed.
There once was a hacker named Ken
Who inherited truckloads of Yen
So he built him some chicks
Of silicon chips
And hasn't been heard from since then.
Why marry a virgin? If she wasn't good enough for the rest of them
then she isn't good enough for you.
#3
Posted: Wed May 10, 2006 3:34 pm
by Batman
I think your computer and I would get along
And isn't this MA&M/Just for Laughs material?
#4
Posted: Wed May 10, 2006 3:37 pm
by Destructionator XV
Batman wrote:I think your computer and I would get along
And isn't this MA&M/Just for Laughs material?
Oh probably. I posted it as ramdom spam though, eh wtf, I'll move it to JFL.
#5
Posted: Wed May 10, 2006 3:43 pm
by Batman
I didn't mean to backseat mod, it just sort of seemed to belong here.
*3PO voice* PLEASE don't deactivate me*/3PO voice*
#6
Posted: Wed May 10, 2006 3:53 pm
by Einhander Sn0m4n
ROFFLES!! I want a Windows version of this program ASAP!
Batman wrote:I didn't mean to backseat mod, it just sort of seemed to belong here.
*3PO voice* PLEASE don't deactivate me*/3PO voice*
#7
Posted: Wed May 10, 2006 3:54 pm
by Destructionator XV
If I were going to deactivate you, you would currently be staring into the face of a thousand suns as they deficate on your book of beleifs.
#8
Posted: Wed May 10, 2006 3:54 pm
by Narsil
Ein wrote:*snip Image of d00m*
That looks like the lovechild of Mike Tyson and Vicky Pollard.
In short; extremely scary.
#9
Posted: Wed May 10, 2006 3:56 pm
by Ace Pace
I second einy. Adam, you have a new port to code.
#10
Posted: Wed May 10, 2006 3:59 pm
by Batman
Narsil wrote:
In short; extremely scary.
I rather thought that was sort of the point, actually.
I do not think correcting Master Destructionator's spelling is a smart move right now, Master Bruce.
Why not? It's not like I have a book of beliefs to begin with.
#11
Posted: Wed May 10, 2006 4:03 pm
by Narsil
Batman wrote:Narsil wrote:
In short; extremely scary.
I rather thought that was sort of the point, actually.
And for reference as to who Vicky Pollard is;
The (insert rediculously muscled person here)/Vicky Pollard analogy sounds rather appropriate.
#12
Posted: Wed May 10, 2006 4:04 pm
by Destructionator XV
This program simply opens some files and dumps one entry at random to the console. It can probably just be recompiled, and since it is a BSD program, the license lets me do almost whatever I want with it.
Let me grab the source.
#13
Posted: Wed May 10, 2006 4:09 pm
by Batman
I would be considerably surprised if there weren't a Windows equivalent of that out there. The amount of completely pointless Windows software simply defies comprehension.
That being said I still miss Icon Hear It...
#14
Posted: Wed May 10, 2006 4:20 pm
by Destructionator XV
Funny. There is a program called wtf on my computer too. At the prompt, you can type:
wtf is acronym
and it will look it up for you.
Anywho, I just looked at the source and it is 2000 lines of *nix specific code. It will not be easy porting this simple program, so I'm not gonna do it. Try google, maybe someone else already did. It is called BSD fortune.
