Oscars V: This Time It's Personal!!!!

[General Havoc]

Wherefore shall we get our Political Opinions if not from Hollywood? Fear not, for it is time for...

General Havoc's Oscar Liveblog, VOLUME FIVE!!!

General Notes:

Political Commentary moments: 18

Direct swipes at Donald Trump: 8

I now finally know how to pronounce Mahershala Ali's name.

Kate McKinnon looks disturbed.

I have no idea what Olivia Davis was talking about, but an oscar speech that begins with graveyards is a hell of a thing.

The guy who won for production design should not give up his day job.

Don't look into Ryan Gosling's eyes!

And Denzel Washington marries two tourists.

I mean, Michael J. Fox doesn't exactly look GOOD, but he looks a good deal better than I thought he would.

I don't think the kid from Lion actually knew what he was saying.

I LOVE MEAN TWEETS!

Michael Cimino died?! Damn. Say hello at Heaven's Gate, you brave Deer Hunter.

Wow, they are LAYING INTO Matt Damon. This is awesome.

"Let us make the most diverse movies," says the guy who made the whitest movie ever.

OH. GOD. THIS IS AMAZING! THEY GAVE THE BEST PICTURE AWARD TO THE WRONG FUCKING MOVIE!!!! SOMEONE IS SO FIRED!



Running Score:
Accurate Predictions by the genius-in-residence: 7
Pushes: 10
Criminal Travesties Against Nature and God: 5



Best Supporting Actor:
Who should have won: Jeff Bridges. Wouldn't be surprised if Ali wins it, given his ubiquity this year, but Bridges was the best of those I saw.
Who actually won: Mahershala Ali. This isn't a surprise, as stated above. I didn't see Moonlight, so I can't speculate.

Best Hairstyling/Makeup:
Who should have won: Anything that isn't Suicide Squad. Fuck Suicide Squad forever.
Who actually won: Suicide Squad FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU...

Best Costume Design:
Who should have won: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. I expect Jackie to pick this one up because Hollywood is predictable and dumb.
Who actually won: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. I'm still upset at the above. But still, good play.

Best Documentary Feature:
Who should have won: O.J.: Made in America. Granted, the only one I saw, but it was a staggeringly good documentary series.
Who actually won: O.J.: Made in America And apparently people agree.

Best Sound Editing:
Who should have won: La La Land. Musicals and all...
Who actually won: Arrival You know... I can't object to this one.

Best Sound Mixing:
Who should have won: La La Land. See Above.
Who actually won: Hacksaw Ridge Didn't see it.

Best Supporting Actress:
Who should have won: Viola Davis. No question here. Any other selection would be a travesty.
Who actually won: Viola Davis Good selection. Strange speech.

Best Foreign Language Film:
Who should have won: No idea. My assumption based on buzz is that the Iranian film will take it, but I didn't see any of them.
Who actually won: The Salesman Such was my assumption.

Best Animated Short:
Who should have won: Piper. BIIIIIIIRDS!
Who actually won: Piper. SO FLAPS! SO FLUFFS!

Best Animated Feature:
Who should have won: Zootopia. The best film of 2016 should win the category they're nominated in.
Who actually won: Zootopia. Damn right! This was the best film of the year and deserved to get SOMETHING.

Best Production Design:
Who should have won: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. The movie did look amazing and inventive, whatever else its flaws.
Who actually won: La La Land. You know... I can't be mad at this one, really. It did have excellent design.

Best Visual Effects:
Who should have won: Doctor Strange. I could see this going to Kubo out of pity, but Doctor Strange had a visual style all its own.
Who actually won: The Jungle Book No. Nonononono. The effects certainly weren't TERRIBLE, but hardly worthy of the oscars.

Best Editing:
Who should have won: Hell or High Water As always, this is kind of a tossup, as it takes very very strong editing for me to notice.
Who actually won: Hacksaw Ridge. Not a category I know a lot about, and I didn't see the movie.

Best Documentary Short Subject:
Who should have won: No idea. I didn't see any of these, but I expect The White Helmets will win just because it provides an opportunity to bash Trump.
Who actually won: The White Helmets. *Whistles*. Though admittedly the speech was a lot better than I expected.

Best Short Film:
Who should have won: No idea. The Oscars hit this year before I could go see the showcase.
Who actually won: Sing. I heard good things about this one.

Best Cinematography:
Who should have won: Silence. Scorsese knows where to point a camera.
Who actually won: La La Land. Yeah, yeah... I just didn't think it was that staggering.

Best Original Score:
Who should have won: Lion. I actually liked this score more than La La Land, though I expect La La Land will clean this one up.
Who actually won: La La Land. Deserved, honestly, though I still would have given it to Lion.

Best Original Song:
Who should have won: How Far I'll Go. A big Disney setpiece "Princess who wants more" song. It's not spectacular, but it'll do.
Who actually won: City of Stars Boo! That wasn't even the best song from the movie, let alone the year!

Best Original Screenplay:
Who should have won: Hell or High Water. The best film on offer deserves this award.
Who actually won: Manchester by the Sea FLAG ON THE PLAY. I mean not a BAD script, but this was an actor's movie.

Best Adapted Screenplay:
Who should have won: Moonlight. I didn't actually see Moonlight, but none of the other films deserve this award.
Who actually won: Moonlight I'm not claiming this one, as I didn't see the movie. But from everything I've heard, it deserves it.

Best Director:
Who should have won: Damien Chazelle. La La Land wasn't perfect, but it was an exceptionally well-directed film. The other nominees were not.
Who actually won: Damien Chazelle Not a surprise, given the landslide happening here, but still well selected.

Best Actor:
Who should have won: Casey Affleck. His legal troubles of late will no doubt keep him out of the spotlight, but his performance was the best one this year, hands down.
Who actually won: Casey Affleck I'm actually quite surprised that the academy gave it to him. A good selection, and an Oscar-win for the talented Affleck.

Best Actress:
Who should have won: I have no idea. I hate the fact that this keeps happening to me in this category, but I only saw two of these movies and neither one deserved the award, though Streep's nomination is obligatory at this point.
Who actually won: Emma Stone The obligatory pick for this one, I suppose. I'm not really impressed, but I do like Emma Stone, so call it a wash.

Best Picture:
Who should have won: Hell or High Water. One of the finest movies made in 2016, and probably the only one off my list that stood a chance of getting into the nominees. I doubt it will win, but it's the clear best of the lot presented.
Who actually won: La La Land *Sigh* Yeah, I knew this was coming, but it doesn't make it the right pick. Should have gone to Hell or High Water.
Who REALLY actually won: Moonlight I... there are no words for the screw-up. But Moonlight is a movie I didn't see, so let's call it a wash. Good night everybody!

[frigidmagi]

Warner Brothers pulled out the blackmail tonight I see.

[Lys]

Best Hairstyling/Makeup:
Who should have won: Anything that isn't Suicide Squad. Fuck Suicide Squad forever.
Who actually won: Suicide Squad FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU...

But the hairstyle and make up was pretty good, even if nothing else was.

[frigidmagi]

Only 5 direct swipes at Trump? I'm surprised at the restraint.

[Lys]

Why don't you give yourself credit for predicting The Salesman and The White Helmets? You did even without seeing them, which is even more impressive.