William Shakespeare's Star Wars

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rhoenix
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#1 William Shakespeare's Star Wars

Post by rhoenix »

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Return once more to a galaxy far, far away with this sublime retelling of George Lucas’s epic Star Wars in the style of the immortal Bard of Avon. The saga of a wise (Jedi) knight and an evil (Sith) lord, of a beautiful princess held captive and a young hero coming of age, Star Wars abounds with all the valor and villainy of Shakespeare’s greatest plays. ’Tis a tale told by fretful droids, full of faithful Wookiees and fearstome Stormtroopers, signifying...pretty much everything.

Reimagined in glorious iambic pentameter—and complete with twenty gorgeous Elizabethan illustrations--William Shakespeare’s Star Wars will astound and edify Rebels and Imperials alike. Zounds! This is the book you’re looking for.
HAN: Pray tell, what shall the cargo be?

OBI-WAN: -Myself
The boy, two droids, and ne're a question ask'd.

HAN 'Tis what, a touch of local trouble here?

OBI-WAN Nay, let us simply say it thus: we would
Imperial entanglements avoid

HAN Aye, there's the rub, so shalt though further pay.
Ten thousand is the cost, and ev'ry bit
Shalt though deliver ere we leave the dock.

LUKE Ten thousand? Fie! We could our own ship buy
For such a sum as this.

HAN -A goodly jest!
For who should pilot such a ship -- shouldst thou?

LUKE Thou knave, I could indeed!. . .
Don't lie. You've thought about it at least once.
"Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes."

- William Gibson


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White Haven
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#2 Re: William Shakespeare's Star Wars

Post by White Haven »

Tarkin is absofuckinglutely perfect in it, it's glorious.
ImageImageChronological Incontinence: Time warps around the poster. The thread topic winks out of existence and reappears in 1d10 posts.

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General Havoc
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#3 Re: William Shakespeare's Star Wars

Post by General Havoc »

For never was a story of more woe
That that of Lucas when his films did blow.
Gaze upon my works, ye mighty, and despair...

Havoc: "So basically if you side against him, he summons Cthulu."
Hotfoot: "Yes, which is reasonable."
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