Lex Luthor vs Bruce Wayne on Forbes.com (hey Bats!)

[Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman]

Forbes.

Lex Luthor Versus Bruce Wayne
Matthew Herper, 12.07.05, 3:00 PM

GOTHAM - The rivalry between multibillionaires Lex Luthor and Bruce Wayne is mutating into outright hatred, associates say, as both men become publicly embroiled in the national debate over whether the government should try to regulate superpowered beings.

Enmity between the two men has always run deep. LexCorp and Wayne Industries, the eponymous firms headed by the two wealthy scions, have battled for share of the defense industries since before Lex, 52, and Bruce, 32, were born. The competition has been fierce as both firms have ventured into software, home security and 3-D television.

Since resigning as U.S. president, Luthor has been publicly lobbying for increased government oversight of so-called “superheroes.” Some of these beings, including such crowd-pleasers as Superman and Green Lantern, are thought to be more powerful than atomic bombs. For decades, superheroes have routinely outscored “Mom” and “apple pie” in public opinion surveys, but recent polls have shown increasing levels of distrust.

“We cannot continue to put unlimited trust in beings who can crush coal into diamonds with their bare hands or move asteroids using energy beams,” says Luthor. “These superheroes--or as I like to call them, superzeros--have weaknesses, and the government should make an effort to learn them--guarding against the day when these do-gooders are no longer doing good.”

Famous superheroes vehemently oppose any further governmental regulation.

“Were it not for those who can fly, tear steel with their bare hands or talk to fish, all of you surface-dwellers would be fodder for sharks and aliens,” says Aquaman, king of the undersea city of Atlantis, through a spokesman. Adds Princess Diana of the Amazons, popularly known as Wonder Woman: “We’ve stopped five alien invasions, ten giant robots and two enormous superintelligent apes just this year. More government attempts to regulate powerfully gifted individuals who obey existing laws is not the answer to the world’s problems.”

In a surprise move, Wayne, who is more famous for his dalliances with heiresses and supermodels than his politics, has rallied to the side of the superheroes. “I just think it is anti-American to argue that law-abiding people with incredible abilities should not be allowed to put on masks and save the planet,” says Wayne. “The effort to create a Global Superhero Positioning System smacks of Big Brother.”

Lucius Fox, who has been Wayne’s right-hand man at Wayne Industries for more than a decade, says that when his boss hears Luthor’s name his customary smile vanishes, and he becomes dark and brooding. “He’s no longer the same happy-go-lucky playboy,” says friend and millionaire inventor Ted Kord. “This battle is turning him into a more serious person.”

Luthor insinuates that Wayne should not be getting involved in public debates given his own history of strange behavior. “Wayne is absolutely batty. He should keep his mouth shut. You know what they say about people in glass houses,” says Luthor.

Admittedly, Wayne has a reputation for showing up at parties and then suddenly vanishing. Even stranger is his habit of keeping teenage boys as wards--he’s now on his third, after the second died in a mysterious accident. Gotham Police have cleared Wayne of the death, but rumors persist. Wayne says he keeps the boys because he, himself, was an orphan: “I just want to give these boys what I didn’t have.” Chimes in former ward Dick Grayson, now 22: “Bruce has never shown any of us anything but love. Luthor is a crook and a mudslinger. ”

Luthor insists he is not and never has been a crook. He dismisses a series of highly negative articles in the Metropolis Daily Planet as the result of a childhood rivalry between himself and mild-mannered reporter Clark Kent. The two grew up together in Smallville, Kansas. “Clark has hated me since high school. You can’t believe a word of what that yellow journalist writes?”

Lois Lane, Kent’s reporting partner and wife, calls that assertion “balderdash.” Kent couldn’t be reached for comment because he was on assignment “far, far away.”

[frigidmagi]

Go Wayne Go!

[Batman]

Let me get this straight-the guy is a former(?) Kryptonite junkie, his fashion sense makes Magneto look subdued, conspired with Darkseid, used B13 technology to rebuild Metropolis but 'I' am the batty one? Lex is just jealous because Clark got Lois, I got LexCorp and all he's got is dorky looking power suits and a substance abuse problem.
'Resigned' the presidency, heh.

Anyway, what's the point of GSPS? We're dead easy to find. Check all the current war zones and natural desaster areas-the ones without actual armies or natural desasters? That's us.