Be Politically Correct

Lindar · Post by **Lindar** » Sun Oct 02, 2005 1:06 pm

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT
1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."
2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."
3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."
4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."
5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT
1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."
2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."
3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."
4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."
5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL"

Ace Pace · Post by **Ace Pace** » Sun Oct 02, 2005 1:10 pm

ROFL my Waffle, that is awesome.

Lindar · Post by **Lindar** » Sun Oct 02, 2005 1:12 pm

Ace Pace wrote:ROFL my Waffle, that is awesome.

*sheepish grin, nods* yeah... i ressurected it from my journal...

I've got another here... gimmee a second...

Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven...don't
step on the ducks!" So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one. Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!" The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck, and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing, and with him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman. The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly! ugly ! ma! man, is very, VERY careful where she steps.
She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on ... very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin.
St. Peter chains them together without saying a word. The woman remarks, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?"
The guy says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!"

Narsil · Post by **Narsil** » Sun Oct 02, 2005 2:21 pm

I've read that joke before... in some form.

Lindar · Post by **Lindar** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 7:46 am

Top Ten Reasons Trick or Treating is Better Than Sex

1. You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.

2. If you get tired, you can wait ten minutes and go at it again.

3. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.

4. You don't have to compliment the person who gives you some.

5. It's O.K. when the person you're with fantasizes you're someone else because you
are.

6. Forty years from now you'll still enjoy candy.

7. If you don't like what you get, you can always go next door.

8. It doesn't matter if the kids hear you moaning and groaning.

9. Less guilt the morning after.

10. You can do the WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD!

varient wrote: #5. If you get a stomach ache, it wonÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t last 9 months.

#4. If you wear your Batman mask, no one thinks youÃ¢â‚¬â„¢re kinky.

And the number one reason trick or treating is better than sex...

If you donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t get what you want, you can always go next door!

Rogue 9 · Post by **Rogue 9** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 11:54 am

Lindar wrote:Be Politically Correct

No.

Lindar · Post by **Lindar** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 4:10 pm

Rogue 9 wrote:
Lindar wrote:Be Politically Correct
No.

*grabs the offending tongue in a clamp* Insubordination will not be tolerated.

Josh · Post by **Josh** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 4:50 pm

No matter how many tongues she grabs, we still keep doing that...

Pcm979 · Post by **Pcm979** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 5:01 pm

'On't Ah 'uckin 'o it.

Narsil · Post by **Narsil** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 5:24 pm

*grabs the offending tongue in a clamp* Insubordination will not be tolerated.

*casts "Disintegrate" on the clamp*

Clamping Tongues will not be tolerated.

Caz · Post by **Caz** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 6:24 pm

Dakarne wrote:
*grabs the offending tongue in a clamp* Insubordination will not be tolerated.
*casts "Disintegrate" on the clamp*

Clamping Tongues will not be tolerated.

You wouldn't say that if we were two girls clamping EACH OTHER'S tongues! Discrimination! Discrimination!

-Casts "Feminist," +10 to Bitch.-

frigidmagi · Post by **frigidmagi** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 6:39 pm

*Cast anti-magic* Alright that will do. Go back to your neutral corners and let Lindar abuse Rogue in peace.

Lindar · Post by **Lindar** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 7:17 pm

Petrosjko wrote:No matter how many tongues she grabs, we still keep doing that...

Exactly! How long until you learn??

Pcm979 wrote:'On't Ah 'uckin 'o it.

What was that?*eyes and waits*

frigidmagi wrote:*Cast anti-magic* Alright that will do. Go back to your neutral corners and let Lindar abuse Rogue in peace.

Thank you Frigid.

*draws kat and waits for Rogue to apologize*

Pcm979 · Post by **Pcm979** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 7:23 pm

Lindar wrote:
Pcm979 wrote:'On't Ah 'uckin 'o it.
What was that?*eyes and waits*

'Tis a joke. Not a very good one, actually. Read it aloud, and take into account it was replying to Petro. Then you'll get it! I hope.

Narsil · Post by **Narsil** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 7:41 pm

You wouldn't say that if we were two girls clamping EACH OTHER'S tongues! Discrimination! Discrimination!

-Casts "Feminist," +10 to Bitch.-

*immediately finds two girls who are clamping eachother's tongues*

*casts disintegrate on the clamps*

I personally find tongue-clamps disgusting

frigidmagi · Post by **frigidmagi** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 7:58 pm

I personally find tongue-clamps disgusting

Then don't look.

Lindar · Post by **Lindar** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 8:30 pm

Pcm979 wrote:
Lindar wrote:
Pcm979 wrote:'On't Ah 'uckin 'o it.
What was that?*eyes and waits*
'Tis a joke. Not a very good one, actually. Read it aloud, and take into account it was replying to Petro. Then you'll get it! I hope.

*shakes head, blank expression* Hun... i still don't get it...

Pcm979 · Post by **Pcm979** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 8:35 pm

Well, here's the bit where, by explaining the joke, I stop it from being funny. Not that it was in the first place, but still.

Petro said that, despite the fact that you keep grabbing tongues, we continue to put ourselves in a position where you grab tongues. I then said "Don't I fucking know it" with letters missing to imply that my tongue had been grabbed.

Rogue 9 · Post by **Rogue 9** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 9:52 pm

Lindar wrote:
frigidmagi wrote:*Cast anti-magic* Alright that will do. Go back to your neutral corners and let Lindar abuse Rogue in peace.
Thank you Frigid.
*draws kat and waits for Rogue to apologize*

Not happening.

*Lindars Lindar.*

Lindar · Post by **Lindar** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 10:14 pm

Rogue 9 wrote:
Lindar wrote:
frigidmagi wrote:*Cast anti-magic* Alright that will do. Go back to your neutral corners and let Lindar abuse Rogue in peace.
Thank you Frigid.
*draws kat and waits for Rogue to apologize*
Not happening. *Lindars Lindar.*

*mauls Rogue, snuggles* You don't come to chat anymore and play...

Narsil · Post by **Narsil** » Tue Oct 04, 2005 6:22 am

Then don't look.

By, I find them disgusting...

I'm on a crusade to destroy each and every single one... *sees another one, and then incinerates it*

Lindar · Post by **Lindar** » Tue Oct 04, 2005 10:44 am

Dakarne wrote:
Then don't look.
By, I find them disgusting...

I'm on a crusade to destroy each and every single one... *sees another one, and then incinerates it*

Clearly Dakarne, you're looking at this from one side instead of a few. Not everyone has the same view on the matter as you.

Now me, my intent is to eventually get these guys to reduce the amount of times they use that emo and leave it open ...

frigidmagi · Post by **frigidmagi** » Tue Oct 04, 2005 2:15 pm

Darkne you're spamming. Consider this your second warning on my forums.

LibriumArcana.Games

Be Politically Correct

#1 Be Politically Correct

#2

#3 ducks

#4

#5

#6

#7

#8

#9

#10

#11

#12

#13

#14

#15

#16

#17

#18

#19

#20

#21

#22

#23