Favorite quotations

Ace Pace · Post by **Ace Pace** » Sun Jun 26, 2005 12:00 pm

I'm gonna rip a HAB thread.

"Close only Counts in Horseshoes, Hand grenades and Tactical Nukes."

I've been told that the Curtis LeMay definition of Bomb Damage Assements was:

Light = rubble
Moderate = Gravel
Severe = dust

"Make it all rubble, then bounce the rubble."

When in doubt, empty the magazine.

"All problems are people problems. No man, no problem."
-Josef Stalin

"Artillery, the Russian god of war." -My version "Artillary, the god of war"

"Nuts, I thought you were here to surrender to us."-Airborne Officer to German troops encirculing a French Village occupied by US Paratroops.

"Their arrows will block out the sun"

"Good. Then we will fight in the shade." -Leonidas

"Hard pressed on my right; my left is in retreat. My center is yielding. Impossible to maneuver. Situation excellent. I am attacking. Attaquez!"
- General Ferdinand Foch (to General Joffre during Battle of the Marne)

The Morrigan · Post by **The Morrigan** » Mon Jun 27, 2005 1:55 am

Ranging from the sublime to the ridiculous, in no particular order:

People don't want a hero. They want to watch TV, play the Lottery and eat cheese for breakfast.*
Samuel L Jackson in Seven

Women: You can't live with them, and you can't get them to dress up in a skimpy little Nazi costume and beat you with a warm squash or something.
Emo Philips (not really fiction but I left it in anyway)

Anyone who is capable of getting themselves into a position of power should on no account be allowed to do the job.
Douglas Adams

There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.
Douglas Adams

And the Angel clothÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¨d all in white opened the Iron Book and a fifth rider appeared in a chariot of burning ice, and there was a snapping of laws and a breaking of bonds and the multitude cried "Oh God, we're in trouble now!".
Terry Pratchett, from The Thief of Time

There was no doubt that whoever had shut [the door] wanted it to stay shut. Dozens of nails secured it to the door frame. Planks had been nailed right across. And finally it had, up until this morning, been hidden by a bookcase that had been put in front of it.

"And there's the sign, Ridcully," said the Dean. "You have read it, I assume. You know? The sign which says 'Do not, under any circumstances, open this door'?"

"Of course I've read it," said Ridcully. "Why d'yer think I want it opened?"

[Footnote: This exchange contains almost all you need to know about human civilization. At least, those bits of it that are now under the sea, fenced off or still smoking.]
Terry Pratchett from Hogfather

After all, this is completely straightforeward. What could possibly go wrong?
Dream in Brief Lives

Anyway, condemning her to an eternity in hell, just because she turned you down...that's a really shitty thing to do
Death in Season of Mists

Worship the Comic.
Pete Abrams

Wait a minute. How did this happen? We're smarter than this.
Obi-Wan Kenobi in Revenge of the Sith

This looks like a job for Emergency Pants!
Torg in Sluggy Freelance

* Paraphrased because I couldn't find the original quote.

The Grim Squeaker · Post by **The Grim Squeaker** » Tue Jun 28, 2005 3:46 am

In the grim darkness of the far future, there is only war
WH40K

CATS, CATS ARE NICE
DEATH- reasons for life

Better a witty fool than a foolish wit.
Shakespheare
+whatevers in my sig here and at SD

Josh · Post by **Josh** » Tue Jun 28, 2005 10:21 am

"In the grim darkness of the far future, there is only war!" to be precise.

Ra · Post by Ra » Tue Jun 28, 2005 10:35 am

From my sig, my favorite LOTR quote:
Ãƒâ€šÃ¢â‚¬Å“I give you the Light of EÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¤rendil, our most beloved star. May it be a light to you in dark places, when all other lights go out.Ãƒâ€šÃ¢â‚¬Â

Josh · Post by **Josh** » Tue Jun 28, 2005 10:39 am

The Locutus clone from the Star Trek: Armada game:

"My death is irrelevant."

Ace Pace · Post by **Ace Pace** » Tue Jun 28, 2005 10:45 am

“If we wanted to take down a communications center, the entire complex would be in ruins.”

“How about the Russians?”

“The entire city would be in ruins.”

“The Americans?”

“The entire country would be in ruins.” -TBOverse by Seer Stuart

"What that future would be like, he couldn't imagine, what he did know was that it would contain a hideous and terrifying number of acronyms."

"Mister President, we find that incinerating entire countries gives meaning to our lives and enhances our manliness."

I'll add a few more TBO one's as I continue re-reading them.

The Morrigan · Post by **The Morrigan** » Wed Jun 29, 2005 2:12 am

"Your brain isn't even connected to your mouth, is it?"
Buffy.

The Grim Squeaker · Post by **The Grim Squeaker** » Wed Jun 29, 2005 3:12 am

Cry havok, and let slip the dogs of war
Julius Caesar

Veni, Vidi Vici
I came, I saw, I conquered

The Morrigan · Post by **The Morrigan** » Wed Jun 29, 2005 3:56 am

Probably being a bit anal here, but isn't it "Let slip the dogs of war"?

Ace Pace · Post by **Ace Pace** » Wed Jun 29, 2005 3:59 am

Morrigon gets the cookie.

*throws magic cookie of Life, the universe and everything*

Batman · Post by **Batman** » Sat Jul 02, 2005 2:03 pm

Screw it. It's only been 3 days.
I forgot two of my all-time favorite Minsc quotes.
'Evil, meet my sword. SWORD? MEET EVIL!'
'Ah, nighttime. Good for sneaking up on enemies.'
which is somewhat contrary to one of his either earlier or later statements (something along the lines of 'I prefer the light of day') but then he DOES talk to a hamster.

Josh · Post by **Josh** » Sat Jul 02, 2005 2:06 pm

I prefer the Renegade Legion rendition of this saying:

"Close only counts in horseshoes, hand grenades, HELL rounds, and dancing."

Batman · Post by **Batman** » Sat Jul 02, 2005 2:08 pm

I think I'll stick with the nukes version if you don't mind.
Actually I will even if you do :P

SirNitram · Post by **SirNitram** » Sat Jul 02, 2005 4:40 pm

See battle, Boo? RUN, BOO, RUN!
It is a den of STINKY evil! Cover your nose, Boo, we will leave no crevice untouched!
Boo is very small, and there are many places on Minsc to hide, yes?

-Minsc.

This battle calls for massive firepower.

-Dawn Of War, Fire Prism.

Here I stand, a God amongst the Immortal...

-Dawn Of War, Khaine.

My Land, says the Wind, Is Full Of Dragons.

-Werewolf the Apocalypse: Bastet, on the subject of Mokole.

I'm remembering him.
But you don't know who he is. It's just a stone, you don't even know his name!
I can still REMEMBER HIM!

-The Last Hero, Cohen the Barbarian.

Why Have You Forsaken Us?!

-Road To Damascus, ruined Bolo MkXXXIII(Unknown identifier).

Josh · Post by **Josh** » Sat Jul 02, 2005 4:48 pm

I believe the Khaine quote is "Here I stand, a God amongst mere mortals...", but I could be wrong.

I love the Chaos Rhino one- "We will deliver PURE EVIL into the heart of the battle!"

They're like FedEx, only twisted.

No, wait, they're just like FedEx.

"Nobs is bigger than smaller, runtier orks!" Nob squad displaying an excellent grasp of the obvious.

"Where's my trukk? Why's I walkin'?"- Big Mek

"I thinks we should invent some kinda machine that makes walkin' easy." Big Mek

"FUMBLE! You drop your forehead and/or arms, hands, legs and feet on your nipple! You take two points of damage!" Recent combat result from my new Disco Bandit in Kingdom of Loathing.

Batman · Post by **Batman** » Sat Jul 02, 2005 5:04 pm

I think it's 'a den of stinking evil', actually.
'One gunstar? Against the whole armada? It'll be a slaughter!'
'That's the spirit!'
'No, MY slaughter! '
-The last Starfighter

'If I were human I believe my response would be "go to hell."... If I were human.'
-Spock, TUC

'Mr. Scott, I understand you are experiencing difficulties with the warp drive?'
'There's nothing wrong with the bloody...'
'Mr. Scott, if the Enterprise responds to hails and returns to Starbase, there is a good chance that we will never see Captain Kirk or Doctor McCoy alive again.'
'Could take weeks, sir... '
-Spock and Scotty, TUC

'Course heading, Captain?'
'Second star to the right and straight on 'til morning.'
-Do you really have to ask?

And in one of the few instances of the german translation improving on the original, Robocop 3
'Sie hat Nein gesagt. Habt ihr vieleicht was an den Ohren?'

Josh · Post by **Josh** » Sat Jul 02, 2005 7:25 pm

"When you send out a man with a gun, you create a policymaker. When his ass is on the line, he will do whatever he needs to do. And if the implications of that bother you, the time to do something about it is before you decide to send him out." David Drake.

The Morrigan · Post by **The Morrigan** » Sat Jul 02, 2005 7:27 pm

I also left out:

In life all things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
DEATH in one of Terry Pratchett's Diskworld novels. I forget which one.

Edit: Why, oh why do I persist in spelling 'Discworld' with a 'k'?

Josh · Post by **Josh** » Sat Jul 02, 2005 7:34 pm

The Morrigan wrote:I also left out:

In life all things are possible, excepte skiing through a revolving door.
DEATH in one of Terry Pratchett's Diskworld novels. I forget which one.

Now I'm just going to have to figure out a way to disprove that.

First of all, there are some very large revolving doors that can easily accomodate a skier- the local airport has one.

Now to just solve the surface issue, and voila...

Batman · Post by **Batman** » Sat Jul 02, 2005 7:35 pm

Odd. I don't remember that one.
Ash. 'Good, bad, I'm the guy with the gun'.

Josh · Post by **Josh** » Sat Jul 02, 2005 8:06 pm

"Did they get the bastards?"

"They are the bastards. Don't look for a happy ending, Tom. It's not an American story, it's an Irish one."

-The Devil's Own

frigidmagi · Post by **frigidmagi** » Sat Jul 02, 2005 8:26 pm

Game Qoutes

"Plan? Plan!?! Look, my plan is to walk up to this idiot and hit him until he tells who took the priestess and where. Then I'm going to go there and hit that idiot until he gives us back the priestess. And anyone who gets in the way of that is going to wish his mother never met his father." a friend in one of our better game sessions.

"The Door you shitlicking idiots, block the motherfucking door damn it! Do you need a fucking chart or something!?! " Me, 10 minutes later same game session.

"I hate wererats." The whole group, when the idiots failed to block the damn door.

Me "After trudging through bitterly cold mountains for several days you finially see the beginnings of a tree line."
Player 1 "Stay close everyone! We should take a day to make sure it's safe, Jasper you see if there's anything noticable."
Player 2 "I don't think we should send him alone. Could be dangerous in there, let's send Mario in with him."
Mario "I don't know, I mean my armor is not the best..."
Little Brother "I walk into the treeline."
Me "Thank God!" (This same group charged into a den of undead with only knives 2 sessions later, I can't figure them out.)

Books
"I prefer Us and Them, it's simplier than Good and Evil." Belgarath.

"You think more when you're alone. You take a look around and you see that the law is only there to protect power, to make things run. The common people just get ground down When the wars were done no one helped the little folk. They just looked down at them and demanded taxes, or told them they were serving the state and rounded them up like slaves. They keep rebuilding shattered kingdoms. You'll see plenty of law, but what you won't see is any justice."

"So for justice you need a Justicar?"

"Yes, You need a Justicar." (conservation between Escalla and Justicar in White Plume Mountain novel pg 100-101)

Josh · Post by **Josh** » Sat Jul 02, 2005 8:57 pm

"Cops are like parents- they don't want justice, they want quiet." L. Neil Smith, Pallas

Game quotes-

"FIGHT, FUCK, WHATEVER, JUST DO IT QUIETLY SO I CAN GET SOME FUCKING SLEEP!" David the Stormbringer, to his rambunctious pack.

"All the sages say the Apocalypse will be the end. David regards it as the opportunity to win the biggest battle ever." Victor Dark Fire.

"Okay, the Spirals are all excited about this prophecy, but they don't even know how it ends. First, it came from a prophet who never got any other call in his life right, and to quote him precisely, he said 'Stormbringer is the one who will come... ACK! UUUUGH! RETCH RETCH! THUD!' And from that, they figure Dave's gonna be their great general? And everyone else is taking this seriously? You garou are messed up." Samuel Lee

"Okay, whoa whoa, the great war-leader gig is supposed to be David's, not me. I'm the guy who makes things work behind the scenes." Victor Dark Fire

"I was doing great, until some dumb bastard chopped half my foot off." Victor Dark Fire

"My children were murdered by my mate. In turn, Gaia gave me two sons not of my blood, one of whom has gone mad and slain our totem and Margrave, the other who thinks that a ragged pack of outcasts will somehow see us to victory. Victor has always been a fool, and now the fool shall lead." Rages in the Shadows, Sept Leader of the Mirror Lake Sept

"Gaia's awake."
"Yes?"
"She's not happy."
Exchange between Victor and Bloodsong, Last of the Stargazers

Best storyline ever. As time allows, I've been toying with an epilogue fic for the story.

Post by **B4UTRUST** » Sat Jul 02, 2005 9:04 pm

Books:

"You're Hell's Angels then are you? What chapter?"
"REVELATIONS."
-Good Omens

"To reign is worth ambition, though in Hell; Better to reign in Hell then serve in Heaven."
-Paradise Lost

"Bound in eternal fear, splintered and void,
Bound to the very marble block of Being,
Bound, bound forever, and forever bound!
The worlds, they see it and go rolling on
And howl the burial song of their own death.
And we, we Apes of a cold God, still cherish
With frenzied pain upon our loving breast
The viper so voluptuously warm,
That it as Universal Form rears up
And from its place on high grins down on us!
And in our ear, till loathing's all consumed,
The weary wave roars onward, ever onward!
Now quick, the die is cast, and all is ready;
Destroy what only poetry's lie contrived,
A curse shall finish what a curse conceived."
- Oulanem

Games:
"30 seconds till the nuke goes off? Ah, pleanty of time. I sit back and crack open a cold one."

Boards:
"You're now public enemy #1 on my list!"
"So I'm your public enemy now? I'm scared. Well, it's better then your private enemies, virginity and females."

LibriumArcana.Games

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