A fundie's dating guide

GH: General Discussion

Moderator: LadyTevar

Post Reply
Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman
Sick, Twisted Fuck
Posts: 1949
Joined: Thu Jun 09, 2005 2:37 pm
19
Location: MENTAL HOSPITAL
Contact:

#1 A fundie's dating guide

Post by Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman »

Basically, it's nothing more than a typical fundie dating guide; strong emphasizes on abstinence, slippery slope fallacy, etc. However, I couldn't help but laughing my ass hard when reading this one part:
When God sees that your desire is to please Him, He’s able to pump extra strength into you to stand up under the pressure. It comes from the Holy Spirit — and to be honest, guys, I don’t think it’s possible to withstand sexual pressure without His strength!
All the writer needs is replacing the words 'stand up' with 'erect', and everything will come into place. :lol:
The Sick, Twisted Fuck | Sap #2 of the Bitter Trio | Knight of the e-mail | Evil Liberal Conspirator | Esoteric Order of Dagon | Weird TGODer

Share your free D&D character here.

:welcome :arrow: :sheepfucker: :thumbsup

So be it. If saying "NO" means being alone, then to hell with love, with romance, with marriage, and all the shit life keeps pumping at me. I'll walk alone, but with freedom and a healed pride.

NEVER buy a LiteOn CD/DVD Writer. Ever.
User avatar
Lindar
Adept
Posts: 1100
Joined: Thu Jun 16, 2005 8:46 am
19
Location: The Grrrrls Lair
Contact:

#2

Post by Lindar »

KAN!*swats playfully* That was naughty!

Naughty KAN naughty!

no more bunnies for you.

although i never would have thought of changing the words...


why were your eading a fundie dating guide anyway?
[img=left]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v608/ ... rlysig.jpg[/img]
Terminally Flirtatious : Gotham Grrl : Imp-kin : Comm Major : NOT a Blonde : Empyrean Night~Good Friends don't let friends die
"Oh, pipe down! It's not like you've never been bound and gagged before." - Harley Quinn.
Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman
Sick, Twisted Fuck
Posts: 1949
Joined: Thu Jun 09, 2005 2:37 pm
19
Location: MENTAL HOSPITAL
Contact:

#3

Post by Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman »

Lindar wrote:KAN!*swats playfully* That was naughty!

Naughty KAN naughty!

no more bunnies for you.

although i never would have thought of changing the words...


why were your eading a fundie dating guide anyway?
*speaks with low voice* Because I'm actually a fundie! But please don't let others know. By the way, would you believe me if I told you I'm still a virgin? Now if you excuse me, I have abstinence to maintain. :razz:
The Sick, Twisted Fuck | Sap #2 of the Bitter Trio | Knight of the e-mail | Evil Liberal Conspirator | Esoteric Order of Dagon | Weird TGODer

Share your free D&D character here.

:welcome :arrow: :sheepfucker: :thumbsup

So be it. If saying "NO" means being alone, then to hell with love, with romance, with marriage, and all the shit life keeps pumping at me. I'll walk alone, but with freedom and a healed pride.

NEVER buy a LiteOn CD/DVD Writer. Ever.
User avatar
Mayabird
Leader of the Marching Band
Posts: 1635
Joined: Mon Jun 13, 2005 7:53 pm
19
Location: IA > GA
Contact:

#4

Post by Mayabird »

It reminds me of my cousin's wedding. Southern Baptists. They spent the entire thing talking about how it was going to be a three-way marriage between the two of them and Jesus. My brother and I were giving each other sideways glances and whispering, "Are they really talking about a threesome with Jesus?"
I :luv: DPDarkPrimus!

Storytime update 8/31: Frigidmagi might be amused by this one.
User avatar
ImpishAngel
Initiate
Posts: 264
Joined: Sun Jun 12, 2005 11:04 am
19
Location: Hamburg, New York
Contact:

#5

Post by ImpishAngel »

"I mean I love Jesus'' /cartman
Image
He is my soldier, the love of my life and one day I will be a proud army wife
If he should be called to duty I will wait for him standing tall, for he is my soldier, my hero, after all.
User avatar
Ace Pace
Antisemetical Semite
Posts: 2272
Joined: Wed Jun 08, 2005 10:28 am
19
Location: Cuddling with stress pills
Contact:

#6

Post by Ace Pace »


3. He’s convinced that if God is invited in on the whole process, He’ll show him how to have real success with females.



Though the media and friends will say you need to change, I think you can stick with one standard—as long as you have the desire to please God above yourself and your friends.

:lol: !
Last edited by Ace Pace on Mon Nov 06, 2006 9:36 am, edited 1 time in total.
[img=left]http://www.libriumarcana.com/Uploads/Ace/acewip7.jpg[/img]Grand Dolphin Conspiracy
The twin cub, the Cyborg dolphin wolf.

Dorsk 81: this is why I support the separation of Aces eyebrow's, something that ugly should never be joined

Mayabird:You see what this place does to us? It's like how Eskimos have their 16 names for snow. We have to precisely define what shafting we're receiving.

"Do we think Israel would be nuts enough to go back into Lebanon with Olmert still in power and calling the shots? They could hook Sharon up to a heart monitor and interpret the blips and bleeps as "yes" and "no" and do better than that, both strategically and emotionally."
User avatar
Discombobulated
Acolyte
Posts: 31
Joined: Sat Oct 07, 2006 3:12 pm
18

#7

Post by Discombobulated »

Mayabird wrote:It reminds me of my cousin's wedding. Southern Baptists. They spent the entire thing talking about how it was going to be a three-way marriage between the two of them and Jesus. My brother and I were giving each other sideways glances and whispering, "Are they really talking about a threesome with Jesus?"
Hee heee! I love it.

This guide is pretty entertaining. I wonder if any guys actually listen to this? I could see a teenaged girl restraining herself from physical contact more easily than a teenaged guy.
User avatar
The Cleric
Thy Kingdom Come...
Posts: 741
Joined: Wed Jun 08, 2005 1:34 pm
19
Location: The Right Hand Of GOD
Contact:

#8

Post by The Cleric »

More than half of the women I've been with have initiated the "sexual contact".
Never shall innocent blood be shed, yet the blood of the wicked shall flow like a river.

The three shall spread their blackened wings and be the vengeful striking hammer of god.
User avatar
Josh
Resident of the Kingdom of Eternal Cockjobbery
Posts: 8114
Joined: Mon Jun 06, 2005 4:51 pm
19
Location: Kingdom of Eternal Cockjobbery

#9

Post by Josh »

The Cleric wrote:More than half of the women I've been with have initiated the "sexual contact".
Hush you. Everyone knows that Godly women don't enjoy sex.

Oh, wait.

Never mind.
When the Frog God smiles, arm yourself.
"'Flammable' and 'inflammable' have the same meaning! This language is insane!"
GIVE ME COFFEE AND I WILL ALLOW YOU TO LIVE!- Frigid
"Ork 'as no automatic code o' survival. 'is partic'lar distinction from all udda livin' gits is tha necessity ta act inna face o' alternatives by means o' dakka."
I created the sound of madness, wrote the book on pain
User avatar
B4UTRUST
Dance Puppets Dance
Posts: 4867
Joined: Wed Jun 08, 2005 3:31 pm
19
Location: Chesapeake, Va
Contact:

#10

Post by B4UTRUST »

Petrosjko wrote:Hush you. Everyone knows that Godly women don't enjoy sex.
Says the man who obviously has never raided the all girl's catholic school :wink:
Image
Saint Annihilus - Patron Saint of Dealing with Stupid Customers
User avatar
Lindar
Adept
Posts: 1100
Joined: Thu Jun 16, 2005 8:46 am
19
Location: The Grrrrls Lair
Contact:

#11

Post by Lindar »

B4UTRUST wrote:
Petrosjko wrote:Hush you. Everyone knows that Godly women don't enjoy sex.
Says the man who obviously has never raided the all girl's catholic school :wink:
:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

You raided the all girl school???
[img=left]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v608/ ... rlysig.jpg[/img]
Terminally Flirtatious : Gotham Grrl : Imp-kin : Comm Major : NOT a Blonde : Empyrean Night~Good Friends don't let friends die
"Oh, pipe down! It's not like you've never been bound and gagged before." - Harley Quinn.
User avatar
Josh
Resident of the Kingdom of Eternal Cockjobbery
Posts: 8114
Joined: Mon Jun 06, 2005 4:51 pm
19
Location: Kingdom of Eternal Cockjobbery

#12

Post by Josh »

B4UTRUST wrote:
Petrosjko wrote:Hush you. Everyone knows that Godly women don't enjoy sex.
Says the man who obviously has never raided the all girl's catholic school :wink:
I never had to raid. I just had to stand outside and wave, then survive the swarm of amor. :wink:
When the Frog God smiles, arm yourself.
"'Flammable' and 'inflammable' have the same meaning! This language is insane!"
GIVE ME COFFEE AND I WILL ALLOW YOU TO LIVE!- Frigid
"Ork 'as no automatic code o' survival. 'is partic'lar distinction from all udda livin' gits is tha necessity ta act inna face o' alternatives by means o' dakka."
I created the sound of madness, wrote the book on pain
Post Reply