Paranoia: Happiness is just a laserblast away

[Caz]

"Where were the bots last seen and what is our equipment alottment?" she asked, repeating Jim's question.

Satisfied that he was no longer going to burst into hysterics, she stood.

[Dark Silver]

John tilted his head, and blinked - Scrubots.

"Indeed, what equipment shall we be dispensed for this most important of missions Friend Orange Clearence Citizen? By the By, did either of you Friend Troubleshooters manage to obtain my things from my corpse?"

[B4UTRUST]

"Yes! Yes that must definatly be it! Ooh....stay back! W-what? S-stay back! Ohh....ohhhhhhhhh leave me alone!"

[Josh]

He looked at Colgate to see if she was going to snitch him.

[Caz]

"Why yes, friend Troubleshooter," Colgate said. "Our other friend, by the hallway, kept your ME card and your laser for you."

She smiled helpfully at Jim, then turned back to the Orange Clearance man.

"Where are we to report to?" she asked. Because she hadn't seen anyone that looked like the victim of a violent scrubbing. "Perhaps the Power Service generator? That is where people need the most scrubbing..."

[B4UTRUST]

Suddenly, Hans-O’s eyes go wide.
"The walls!" he shouts. "They’re coming out of the walls! I won’t let them take me! You can’t make me go!"

He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a grenade. Most of you have never seen a real grenade in use before and yet, strangely enough, every one of you understands at an instinctive level that this one has been triggered, and that is a bad thing.

[Josh]

He screamed and turned to run down the hallway.

[Caz]

Colgate's eyes widened and she turned on her heels, racing down the hallway until she was neck and neck with Jim.

"I don't see anything coming out of the walls!" she shouted as she ran.

[Dark Silver]

John blinked as the mad pulled out the odd device, then gulped.

Without getting a chance to thank Colgate for her advice, the man pulled out his gernade.

Instinct kicked in, and John became a gibbering idiot (more so than usual), ran for the door, and smacked into the wall next to it.

John-R-BKL-2 (soon to be John-R-BKL-3) stayed stuck to the wall for a whole second, much like a cartoon character, before falling backwards.

[B4UTRUST]

When Colgate and Jim ran screaming from the room, the door slammed shut, muffling the sound of the explosion. The gernade went off as it was designed to, making a paste of Hans-O, splattering him gruesomely across the room. Shrapnel exploded out from the gernade as well, burying itself into the floors, walls and ceiling.

John-R was lucky, well mostly. A piece of shrapnel took his right hand and another embedded itself into his left thigh but otherwise he came out more or less unscathed.

[Dark Silver]

John-R got up a few moments after the explosion, his ears ringing loudly, and noticing the missing bits of his right atm.

He whimpered, before shoving his stump in his mouth, trying to stop the blood from getting everywhere. His cheeks bulged as the blood spurted in his mouth, he gagged, then puked on the floor.

Naseaus from blood loss and puking, he got to his feet, and stumbled down the hall, leading a trail of blood behind him.

[B4UTRUST]

The door leads to a short hall, which in turn opens on a glorious chamber: an enormous open space that stretches upward so high you're not sure you can see the top. Catwalks and slideways cross back and forth over your heads. Autocars and transbots zip all around the ground-level plaza. At the center of the open space is a beautiful fountain topped with a sculpture of two Troubleshooters, bravely standing back to back with their lasers out. Everywhere you look, you see citizens of rank: RED, ORANGE, YELLOW, GREEN. Even... on that catwalk up there; is that an INDIGO talking with a pair of BLUE citizens? It really is! You've never seen an INDIGO citizen before, except on vidshows. Truly, you have arrived. It's almost too much to take in.

As you look around you do notice something odd however; there are no INFRARED citizens at all! Everyone and everything is RED or higher! All around you, you see countless doors and windows leading to and from, leading into shops selling anything and everything you could possibly imagine.

There are some interesting-looking storefronts on the second level. Also, it looks like there might be a map. On the other hand, it looks like YELLOW Clearance up there. Perhaps you should stick to the RED Clearance doors down here. Of course, there’s a lot of chaotic autocar traffic you’d have to get through.

[Caz]

Colgate stared, slack-jawed at the urban spectacle before them. She didn't even leave the doorway, simply staring at the different levels and colours. It was a whole other world than the Power Service generator. Than scrubbing hands and trimming bangs all day.

"This, my friend, is a good day," she said to Jim.

[Josh]

"The best!" he said, pointing back at John, who was just stumbling up. "We should help him!"

[Dark Silver]

John, weakened by bloodloss, gurgled something out as he came up behind Jim and colgate, a spurt of blood flying from his wrist

[Caz]

The Hygiene Officer stepped aside of the blood as though it was infected, then looked to Jim. "We should help him!" she said, "But I'm no Reconstruction Specialist!"

She looked to the bloody man.

"You seem to have been damaged, friend citizen!"

[B4UTRUST]

As your senses reel from the whirlwind of activity, a jackobot wheels up and humbly stands by your side.
"Troubleshooters," it says, "I am jackobot ED-1E. Please, call me Eddie. You're in need of outfitting?"

[Josh]

After a moment to recover, there seemed to be the slightest of malicious glints in Jim's eye as he yelled out.

"Quickly! He's a loyal Troubleshooter in the service of Friend Computer! We must save him for future duties!"

He grabbed John's forearm and jammed his stump into Colgate's armpit, pressing down on her arm.

"Clamp down to stem the blood loss!" he commanded frantically.

[Dark Silver]

John looks up at the friendly Jackobot, gurgles out something, which sounds vaguely like "blkahmabud" and falls over, skin ashen from bloodloss.

[Caz]

"Yes, Eddie," Colgate said with a polite but obnoxious laugh, holding the bleeding stump of John's arm under her armpit. As she watched the jackobot, she turned toward Jim, a bit of blood accidentally squirting from John's wound and onto the other male's cheek.

"Perhaps you should give our friend his ME card and laser, as we're about to be outfitted?"

[Josh]

"Perhaps when he's in better shape," he informed Colgate solemnly. He turned to the bot. "Yes, yes, we're here for outfitting."

[Dark Silver]

With a rather drunken look on his face, John-R pulled his stump from under Colgate's arm, and slung it around her shoulder, throwing blood everywhere, and when the arm was drapped over her, making her nice red jumpsuit glisten with the sticky wetness of nice red blood.

[B4UTRUST]

The jackobot leads you confidently through the chaos of the plaza and into a RED corridor. The corridor leads to a T-intersection, where you turn right. The corridor splits... there are a couple more turns... An elevator takes you down... and out into an INFRARED hallway. Another couple of turns, and you find yourself in what is apparently the PLC Outfitting Center. Several narrow tunnels lead off in various directions. Steam conduits line the low ceiling. Lining the sides of the tunnels are stall after stall of every sort of item: guns at this one, clothing at that one, bottles and cans and boxes of consumables, Teela-O merchandise... In each stall, an outfitter beckons invitingly. It’s enough to make your eyes tear up with joy.
"Welcome to Outfitting," Eddie says. Checking your PDCs, you see you should have about four and a half hours left on your mission. Plenty of time!

[Josh]

As they went, Jim borrowed Colgate's sleeve to scrub the blood off his cheeks and hands, under the theory that her uniform was already messy. He carefully steered clear of the blood flow from John, and stepped away when done to gaze in awe at the stacks of equipment.

He looked back at the bot. "Um. What are we issued for this mission?"

[Caz]

Colgate didn't see Jim stop as he spoke to the bot and proceeded to trip, barely able to keep John upright in her arms as she regained her balance. The bloody stump swung straight into Jim's face, and Colgate made a tiny "o" of her mouth in surprise.

"I'm so sorry, friend citizen!" she said emphatically.