RPG Player Quotes

[rhoenix]

Frigidmagi: With friends like these, do I really need enemies?

Cynical Cat: With friends like these, you already have enemies.

[Charon]

IRWriter86
I am going to ask you a question, and if the answer to this question is not yes, I am going to do something to make you hate me forever.
I will turn HMD into a Slash Fiction.

Gen Havoc
...
What is the question?

IRWriter86
Have you seen Avengers yet?

Gen Havoc
I'm seeing it tomorrow with people

IRWriter86
Well, time to get my slash fiction on...

Gen Havoc
I will fucking kill you
With Stukas
And Fire
And more Stukas
And more Fire
And then some Acid.
And then Flaming Stukas
And then Borg

[LadyTevar]

Nitram: Stop bragging about your skills, and your dice rolls will stop sucking.

[Cynical Cat]

From General Havoc's Vampire game, illustrating the proper attitude to the approach of a moderately powerful hostile Mage in the World of Darkness.

Totally Badass Gangrel Deathmachine: OH FUCK! IT'S THE WAY DUDE!

[White Haven]

White Haven: Then again, that's a mixed bag for our party. I'm sure the melee line would prefer less clear sight-lines ;)
Prezo: I guess I can always abuse point blank shit
White Haven: ...
Prezo: Shot*
White Haven: Plague marines indeed.
Prezo: Shush I'm in bed chatting from my iPad.
Matt: I don't recall summoning Nurgle.
White Haven: Bed is probably a bad place to be abusing point blank shit.
Prezo: Very true
Prezo: But it's cold out there
Kev: point blank shit only results in momentary warmth.
Prezo: And smells of wood smoke which makes me happyface

Ah, timing. Timing is everything.

[General Havoc]

First statement while the PCs try to figure out what to do...

Cyncat: "What are our illegal and anarchist options?"

[Lys]

This snippet of conversation brought to you by Exalted 2nd Edition:

(2:44:37 AM) Tacky: That one Martial Art
(2:44:43 AM) Tacky: I forget its name
(2:44:47 AM) Tacky: the BDSM one
(2:45:44 AM) Lucus: Uhh.
(2:45:47 AM) Lucus: Sapphire Veils of Passion?
(2:45:51 AM) Tacky: No
(2:45:57 AM) Tacky: The other one
(2:45:58 AM) Gray: No.
(2:46:02 AM) Tack: From Scroll of the Monk
(2:46:07 AM) Gray: that's the classy BDSM one Lucus.
(2:46:11 AM) Gray: we're talking about the other one.
(2:46:12 AM) Gray: ...
(2:46:25 AM) Gray: that combination of sentences is not one I had thought I would ever say.

(The other one is Laughing Wounds Style.)

[Cynical Cat]

General Havoc on Eclipse Phase: "So I'm wearing power armour and standing on a speeding vehicle while shooting a rail machine at cyborg Shai-Hulud while a robot octopus shoots laser tentacles at it while a reporter hangs off the side trying to blow it up with a missile launcher and when it explodes its pieces fall in slow motion because we're on Mars. I think I'm beginning to get this game."

[Lys]

Vampire the Requiem:
"Come on, he was just asking for a date. It's not like taking one drink would break her mind. I mean, this one would because I'm a cheaty bastard, but in general."

Oh Mystery of the Voivoide, I love you for all the blood bond shenanigans you let the Dragons pull.

[Hotfoot]

After hearing the Toreador Quaesitor wax poetic about Helgi's poetry recitation with profoundly elegant praise.

Havoc: "I'm not sure if Helgi has been holding out on me, or if he's going out of his way to troll me."

The truth is probably both, really.

[SirNitram]

I really should have gotten some sort of Narrow Speciality in Paranoia for 'Check the super-fine print'. Turns out while it's not bank-breaking to buy access to BLUE eateries, they hide the markup you pay for everything. One meal with real food and I'm flirting with deletion from sheer debt.. And it's seriously looking like my only way out involves FreeEnt kneebreakers.

[Lys]

Havoc on his and my Eclipse Phase characters, "Of course we're better than everyone else. Jovians are God's chosen transpeople! Uh... that didn't come out right."

[Hotfoot]

"Vampire, when running towards the vast tentacular horror is your BEST option." -General Havoc on running TOWARDS the stronghold of the Tzimisce in Constantinople.

[White Haven]

Marcao: '...Throbbing at the mouth...'

[Comrade Tortoise]

Havoc to Lys: Ok, Ok. How about we call you Incestia Magna.... Incestia Maxima you have to earn in game
*laughter*
Lys to Havoc: Alright, but then we have to call you Cataminus Major. Or maybe more appropropriately Cataminus Minor

[Lys]

This is the best thing to happen to me today:

(1:55:01 AM) Boyfriend: ugh, /wodg/ [Ed: WoD General on 4chan's /tg/ board]
(1:55:08 AM) Boyfriend: I mentioned my werewolf. Immediate reply:
(1:55:14 AM) Boyfriend: "is he having sex with burly gay men"
(1:55:17 AM) Boyfriend: I say "no"
(1:55:25 AM) Boyfriend: And a bunch of anons start discussing gay werewolf sex
(1:55:29 AM) Boyfriend: and talk about cock knots
(2:00:40 AM) Lys: Yeah that always seems to come up when werewolves do.
(2:00:52 AM) Boyfriend: I have no idea what a cock knot is, tbh
(2:00:54 AM) Boyfriend: never looked it up
(2:02:48 AM) Boyfriend: ...
(2:02:53 AM) Boyfriend: Why did I google this.
(2:02:57 AM) Boyfriend: Why did I google knotting
(2:03:11 AM) Boyfriend: And why is there so much male impregnation related to it?!
(2:03:29 AM) ***Lys giggles
(2:04:26 AM) ***Lys still cant' stop laughing

It may not have been good for him, but it sure was for me.

[B4UTRUST]

Tonight in my tabletop mage game:

Travis: Phyber? So is he like Metamucil Man?
Alex: Metamucil Man! He gets shit done
Me: Worst. Superhero. Ever...

[LadyTevar]

"Why the City Never Sleeps" Vampire game Monday night
Victor the gargoyle (havoc), gets annoyed at Lacey the Gangrel truck-driver (me) and decides to intimidate her.

Victor : My wings unfurl and I stand up straight and cross my arms to show her my 'guns' (muscles)
(He rolls 2 successes. Lacey is told to roll 'just Courage' and all three are successes.)
Lacey: I put my hands on my hips and tilt my head, giving him a silent 'are you fuckin' serious'. Then I straighten my head, narrow my eyes, and give him that look teachers give to misbehaving students. And I activate 'Eyes of the Beast'.
(He rolls three successes on the proper defensive roll. I roll FOUR.)
GM: Victor, you've seen eyes like that before, on Gangrel you've had to fight. You're remembering right now those mutherfuckers can slice you up with their claws, and don't go down easy.
Victor: yeah.. I can see that....
Lacey smirks, as Victor is visibly backing down.

Then Lance the Toreador (Tyson) makes a smartass comment.
Lacey: Really? Ok, I turn The Red Glare on Lance.
Lance, lifts up cellphone: Smile! (FLASHBULB IN LACEY'S EYES)
Lacey flinches and starts cursing like a trucker (even tho it's not Enhanced Senses, it's still dark-vision)
Lance comments nonchalantly it's going to be her Contact pic, and the rest of the party loses it.
(The game pauses for five minutes -- no one in chat can talk because we're all laughing so hard.)